Ok, maybe I'm opening a can of worms here, but here's an old story, the back story, and a question. Old story first:
On Good Friday, I had to explain to the Princess (then 3 1/2) why there wasn't any school. "Well today is the anniversary of the day Jesus died.....do you remember who Jesus was?"
"No Mommy." Shit. Mother of the Year slips my grasp again.
"Well, I'll have to get some stories about him to read to you."
"OH! MOMMY! I'll get my Dora book! It has sooo many stories! Maybe there's one about Dora and Jesus in there!"
Don't worry, I already feel the shame. How could this have happened? The backstory:
Hubs and I were both brought up nominally Christian. Hubs went to the Anglican church as a kid, and then went to a Christian boarding school. Which turned him off religion forever. The story of the school's closing was recently picked up in the Globe and Mail - search 'Grenville'....they'll explain better than I can. (to clarify - Hubs was miserable there, and feels religion was used as a weapon, but he didn't suffer or witness the abuse mentioned) I have less excuse. Hubs is happy for me to take the kids to church....he wants me to, he just won't come. I suspect that he wants me to take them so that he can be alone with the television for an hour. I haven't taken them, even though the church is literally across the street and down two houses, because I am tired and don't want to add to the time I spend alone with my children. I like hanging out with Hubs on Sunday. I like leaving the kids in his care and lounging on the sofa with coffee and a book.
And that brings us to the question:
After the Easter incident, I bought a few books to read to the Princess, a story about Noah, and a children's bible, but she really wasn't interested. The question got pushed to the back of my mind. Christmas is bringing it back to the forefront. How do I educate her about religion? To be clear, my worries are educational and for her soul. She has beautiful manners and morals, you have only to look in her eyes to see that her soul is pure. If there is a heaven, she will go there. My own beliefs are tentative, un-formed - I don't want my children to follow in my footsteps, but to make up their own minds. However, I want them to have a background, a basic knowledge, of the bible and its stories....so much of literature assumes this of its reader that it is vitally important. If I can impart the right background, they will have what they need to decipher the metaphors around them and make their own decision about God. But....how do I do that? Do I need to take them to church? Every Christmas Eve I let the kids open a present - and it is always new pyjamas and a storybook. This year one of the books is the Christmas story. It's a start. What else can I do? What do you do?
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12 comments:
I have been meaning to deal with religion too. My kids know about the Petit Jesus and I'm not sure how. France is catholic so perhaps there's some indoctrination in the schools... maybe not.
I was raised Anglican. Every once in a while I'll go to a Catholic service and I'll think Hot Damn. Catholocism makes you believe (it does for me, could just be the music). Of course that might not be the case. My mom is of the Evangelical faith and their services make me cringe.
I've been thinking more and more about going to church regularily. I always feel peace there and I think, as I get older, that I need it more...
we always figured we would do the regular church thing but we're apparently too lazy so we're having the same problem. My dad was a pastor so I'm sure he's thrilled with us. of course that means growing up all of that info was just . . . there. We've been doing lots of books and we always pray before meals and bed. I've always intended to give O information on all the choices out there, why we've chosen what we have, and then let him go his own way. My religious high school actually had a class where you studied other faiths and interacted with people who practiced it as way of learning and respecting other beliefs - i've always thought that was a great idea
I sort of touched on this in an earlier post of mine. It's a toughie. My husband is atheist, while I'm on the fence. I was born and baptised Lutheran.
I also want my kids to have the opportunity to make their own decisions, but I find it hard to know what to expose them to. I mean, to be fair to them, there's not just Christianity out there.
So we talk about what people believe, and that some believe in a God, some believe in Jesus as God's son. They learn some things from their school, too.
It's a hard one. It is. I don't have any answers for you.
Heidi
Ack - this topic stresses me out - because I feel like such a failure in educating my children about the world's religions. I claim to be agnostic ( of the I-don't-know-and-you-don't-know-either group...) and my husband is a "recovering-Catholic". We take the kids to church on Christmas and Easter with their grandparents. The Boy especially loves it (I'm not sure what exactly draws him in, and he can't explain it, but he would join any church or temple, any time. He'd join a cult, probably. Gotta keep my eye on him.) But I digress.
First running, now religion? I have much to learn from you. =)
Oh, I have a book my husband had growing up that I've been meaning to photograph and blog - it's SCARY!
My husband is basically Catholic on the run, but I heard him telling the baby about the Nativity set last night - it was sweet. So, maybe that's something. Advent wreaths are kinda cool - fire fire! heh heh.
There's gotta be some online church stuff for kids - to assist with the lazy, because I am right there with you. I keep using the excuse of a new town as a reason to sleep in.
That's a hard one. I am contantly saying we really should take Graham to church. And he hasn't be baptised. And then we haven't even had our Catholic wedding yet (5.5 years after our other wedding). I know it's time to start teaching him - the Christms story probably is a great start.
Religion is tough, and of course comes up once you have children.
I was raised Catholic, got married in Catholic church, baptized both kids Catholic. But we're not regular churchgoers. Lazy, really, but honestly I baptized them so they would at least have something. The questions certainly come up this time of year. We deal with them as they do, probably not so eloquently, but we try to be consistent. We do believe in God and heaven, and our kids are content with that so far.
well, we are part of a church and always have been. As a Christian I feel we're called to be part of a community - to support each other, to learn from each other, to serve together, etc. So, I know you are reluctant to do it, but that it my best suggestion. (but no, I don't think you HAVE to go to church to teach your child about God). Find a good children's bible with short stories and cool pictures, and read a story every day before bed or after dinner or whatever. Then say a short prayer. It's a great place to start (when we got the bible we started with the stories about Jesus, rather than at the beginning, and if you do this at christmas time it fits right in, and then you just keep talking about Jesus)
Thanks everyone....I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this. I did enjoy Sunday School when I was little, I think part of the issue is finding the right church.
My mom is a member of the United Church, but the minister of the local one refused to baptize me because she didn't attend every single week....so she had to take me to a different town. Then we attended the local Baptist church for years and years, until that United Minister left.
The first sermon the new minister gave was about divorce and how God only recognizes a first marriage, and doesn't recognize divorce....My dad was married before, so basically he was saying my mom was living in sin, and my sister and I were illegitimate. He was a very poor minister. Attendance went way down, and we really never went to church after that.
This is such a tough issue. I've started taking my kids to church after years of not going myself. I am still quite ambivalent about this -- I have deep reservations about Catholocism (despite 12 years of Catholic education), but also see some positive things that I want my kids to experience. So, for now, to church we go.
Well, if you really want to allow your children to make up their own minds about God and religion someday, then I don't think you need to instill them with any sort of "base"... Christian or otherwise. I mean, you'd be already attaching them to a certain team, denomination, yadda yadda. People raised in a religious tradition rarely achieve objectivity about their own faith. It gets "implanted" before the age of reason, so they don't really stand a chance. It seems to live in the same corner of the psyche as allegience to a home team or patriotism...
But I'm TOTALLY for education, though. I've always been very interested in religion. The how and why of the way the world works because of it, its imprints on history, society, indentity, politics... It's fascinating.
There's so much you can explain about religion without ever specifically endorsing it. I'm grateful to have had that kind of upbrining, and parents who weren't afraid to admit that there's no real way of knowing if one or any religion is true... Them not being afraid to say that helped me not be afraid to think it.
I'm so glad you pointed me to this post (from mine today about my church). I stress and worry over the same issues. We do attend our church fairly regularly and have found a community there we really enjoy. (It is a small, very liberal congregation.) And though I cannot say I have a very strong faith, there is "something" that keeps us going -- something I do want my children exposed to, even if it is nothing more than exposure. However, I do cringe sometimes when they come in from Sunday School talking about Noah's Ark and ask questions like, "What happened to the other people, not on Noah's Ark?" What I am supposed to say? "God killed them"? That doesn't so much fit with my idea of God. *weak grin*. It is a struggle and confusing at times, definitely.
I'll keep watching for your updates on this one!
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