My mom never liked having her photo taken either, and when we were kids she would refuse to be in pictures, or cut herself out of them later. We have next to no photos of my mom with us when we were little. No photos of her holding us as babies. No photos of her chasing us as toddlers. I have a picture of her in my mind - tall, beautiful, with long blonde hair, but her face is blurry. I would love to have a photo to refresh that memory. So I am trying to fight down my aversion to the camera for my kids' sake.
I have photos of myself pregnant with each of them. I have one photo of myself holding them in the delivery room, complete with puffy face, exhausted eyes and delirious, insane-asylum grins. I have photos of me giving them their first baths, my body still swollen and bloated. I have photos I like more - holding Princess on her first Christmas, at a friend's wedding. Days that I made the time to do my hair and make-up.
And photos I like less. Hubs took one yesterday at the parade, and when I loaded it onto the computer I called him into the room:
"Do I really look like that? Seriously, is that really what I look like!?"
"What do you mean? You look great....you're smiling, you're happy!"
"But I look so TIRED! My lips are pale....I need a haircut and highlights"
"Babe....you look great. We're not 20 anymore..."
I guess that's the problem. In my mind, I am 20. Which is why I get such a shock when I look in the mirror or see a photo of myself. And so, in the spirit of accepting who and what I am now, I offer you this -
( I'm not a bag lady - you need sleeping bags on the sidewalk to watch the parade!)Because it may not be beautiful to me, but, someday, this photo might hold memories that are beautiful and precious to them.
14 comments:
You are insane if you don't think you look beautiful in that photo.
Hon, you are WAY too hard on yourself. First of all, you're sitting on a sidewalk with lumpy sleeping bags all around you and a ski cap. This is obviously not a fashion shot.
Second, I can tell, even from this picture, that you are pretty and friendly. Give yourself a break.
I always remind myself, come bathing suit season (ugh) that I am NOT 15 and shouldn't LOOK 15, so what exactly am I expecting when I see myself in a mirror? I also then (sort of cruelly) remember that there are a LOT of women that look a lot worse, so what am I complaining about?
Kind of rotten, though...
I think you look lovely - exactly like the sort of person I would want to be friends with.
I think you look fantastic. And your kids will appreciate being able to look back on their youth with their lovely mom through the photographs.
You look fabulous! And not at all how I had imagined you!!!
And I just spent a good half hour inspecting my wrinkles in the mirror, sigh. I seem to be stuck thinking I should look 25 or so...
I just loved this post and I loved the picture. I believe you are so right, they will cherish every picture of you and especially of you with them, your children. I don't like pictures of me either. I think that is a good picture of you (not that I'd know, really), but you look great! I'm Kellan - nice to meet you and thanks for coming over today. Hope to see you again soon. See ya.
I prefer being behind the camera and there are also VERY few photos of me... like you, mostly ones that have to do with *birthin' the babies*. I love the one you posted here. You are having fun and it shows! Thanks for visiting my blog!!
The same thing happened to me... moritification at having my picture in the paper (and it was one doozie of a bad picture).
The picture of you at the parade? Awesome! Who says you don't look 20?
Oh my gosh! This is such a lovely photo of you. Look at the way you are smiling with your face, rather than just your mouth. Holding your wee one in your arms, love for him and the photo taker evident in your eyes. Humor in the set of your mouth and the tilt of your head. I see warmth and joy, not to mention beautiful, natural features in a well shaped face.
thanks for posting your pic!
i started a tradition my first mother's day of getting myself all pretty and taking MQ to have our picture taken together. I love them. They are not all fantastic, but i find that I don't appear in many pictures, since I am the picture taker in our house, and that when I do my hair is usually a mess and I have no make-up and I grown. So once a year we go and do it right. I'm so glad.
Dude, you're cute. DOn't worry about it. I'll tell you what I tell my SIL...One day your kids will ask you where you were in the picture. And you may care now, but when you're a grandma, you will want to show your kids and grandkids where you were in all the family events too.
Awww, you're so pretty - that's a great shot of you and your little one. You actually look quite the hipster with that toque!
Although I'm not great at having my photo taken, I usually ask or force hubby to, for that exact reason - so that I have shots with the kids. I have tons of pictures of him with them when they were babies. With me, maybe only a handful. Mind you, I didn't look the greatest for the first few months so perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing ;)
You look like the sort of chick I could tell everything to.
I too always step out of pictures and I sorely regretted it when it came time to get together family pictures for my son to take to school. I think I'm still shocked that I'm older and have gained weight - I still think I'm 20 and weigh 115.
That said - I think you look great in that picture! and aren't the puffy delirious just had a baby pictures hilarious? I hate mine but I have managed to not delete them
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