7 More Things

I thought of some! Amazing how the mind-numbing tasks of day to day life help a girl think....

So - when I am made Supreme Ruler of the Universe you can expect the following:

1. To expound on the carpet theme, carpeting in bathrooms will be banned outright. Because, ewww! Extra task-forces will be sent to England immediately....come ON people, you built an EMPIRE, what are you thinking?!

2. All people working in retail or customer service will be required to actually HELP their customers. Without sighing. Anyone caught glaring at a customer for daring to want to make a purchase, therefore interrupting an oh-so-important phone call about what you did on Saturday night, will immediately be fired and made to work shovelling poop at a farm or zoo.

3. The home phone numbers of all telemarketers will be made public. So we can phone THEM during dinner.

4. Babies will sleep through the night. 'nuff said.

5. Chocolate will be declared a food group.

6. That lady at my daughter's dance class, the one who is always telling me how exhausted I look, and how I look so much better and full of life on the days I manage to wear make-up, will have her vile tongue removed and be given a job scrubbing out public bathrooms everywhere.

7. All Mommies will be granted a hot cup of coffee and a shower before entering into each day of servitude to their children - the REAL Supreme Rulers of the Universe.