Why? Why?!

This morning, much too early, here at the House of Bad:

Me: Princess? Where are you?

Princess: In the kitchen!

Me: What are you doing?

Princess: Shaking off my hands. They got wet.

Me: How did they get wet?

No answer

Me: Princess...how did your hands get wet?

No answer again, but I notice her eyes keep darting to my glass of water.

Me: (incredulous) Did you put your hands in my water?

Princess: Well it was right there!

Me: So? I don't put my hands in your drinks, do I? Why would you do that?

Princess: Mo-o-om! My hands were really not clean!

Me: And you think I want to drink your dirt?!

No answer

Me: If your hands catch fire and my drink is the closest source of water, you can put them in it. Until then, use the sink to wash them! Or get a baby wipe if you're lazy.....can you please take this glass to the kitchen and get me a new drink? And use a clean glass....

Princess: Ok mommy. That's just what I was going to do anyway.

Me: Hmm. Thanks.

I have a feeling it's going to be even harder to get down those 8 glasses a day now....yuck!