Endings

On Saturday afternoon I laid down with Bad and nursed him to sleep. I didn't know it then, but it was the last time I'd ever nurse a baby. One o'clock in the afternoon of Saturday, December the twenty-seventh, 2008.

That evening Bad threw a temper tantrum. A down and out kicking and hitting and crying and screaming temper tantrum. He kicked out and hit my sprained thumb so hard that the pain took my breath away. After I'd calmed down, and calmed him down, I helped him into his pyjamas, brushed his teeth and lay down beside him in his bed. He immediately reached for my shirt.

"I'm sorry buddy, I can hold you, I can kiss you, I can sing to you or rub your back, but I can't nurse you right now." And I couldn't. I just couldn't bear the thought of lifting my shirt up and letting him latch on. Maybe he sympathised with the weary note in my voice, or he may have just been exhausted and cried out, but he let me just hold him and do 'criss-cross' on his back until he fell asleep.

I hadn't intended to never nurse him again, although I've been muttering about weaning for months. He napped in the car on Sunday, and at bedtime I rubbed his back again and told him that my milk was almost gone. If he'd cried I'd have given in, but he didn't. He curled his body into mine and was asleep in minutes.

Yesterday the first wave of sadness came. We spent the day with the dinosaurs at the ROM, so Bad napped in the car again. I thought, for a moment, about nursing him to sleep at night - a last nurse, a chance to say good-bye - but it would've been for me, and made things harder on him.

Ironically, after three days without nursing and barely a whimper, this morning his tears came. I took away a 'toy' that he wanted to play with, (a rail from the back of one of the kitchen chairs) and he wanted to be soothed with a breast. I took him up to nap, but I held my ground. There is still milk there, but it's receding. The fullness is gone. My baby cried and fought and clawed at my chest to get in, and I held him and whispered to him but pushed his hands away until I was crying too. He's sleeping now. He fell asleep in my arms. I shouldn't feel guilty, it's been two years, it's time. I think I made the right decision....didn't I?

Look what I got!!

We had a wonderful Christmas at the House of Bad. The kids were thrilled with all of their presents, and even more thrilled at having a house full of family. I got some wonderful things, but I want to show you my favourites, both of which were courtesy of my Dad this year.

He MADE me this Santa.



And gave me this memory.



Thanks Dad.

The Ho-Ho-House Tour

Merry Christmas!

Welcome to the House of Bad!

I love this wreath. I've had it for about 6 years, and I just change up the ribbon to suit my mood. I bought some beautiful glass heart ornaments to hang on the porch this year, and once I'd added matching ribbon to everything, they looked made for each other. (I'm not entirely sure the hearts were made for outdoor use, but at least it'll be quick, if they break. Unlike the drawn-out mocking death of the hanging plants I hang there each summer.)



I can't take credit for that most glorious of Christmas decorations - freshly fallen snow. (And to be honest, I hope that it'll all go away come the 26th!)



Hubs gave me the porch swing for my birthday. I'm looking forward to being able to trust Bad not to run into the road, and then I'll be able to sit there with hot chocolate and blankets while I watch my babies play in the snow. (And a little wine in the summer, maybe, whilst they ride their bikes up and down the street?)

I love pulling all the ornaments out of their boxes each year. There are always some that I'd forgotten we had, and it's a wondrous surprise to see them again.



The tree's the thing, here at the House of Bad. Anything and everything goes, as far as ornaments are concerned. Here are some of the things you'll find on our tree (and last year's post, if you want to see close-ups of a few):

Moose in a rowboat (Nfld)
Fisherman (PEI)
Gnome (Montreal)
Santa made from a seashell (Quebec City)
Coke bottle (Las Vegas)
Rastafarian Santa (Bahamas)
Manatee (St. Pete's Beach)
Christmas Palm Tree (Key West)
Nativity in a Poppy seed shell (Budapest)
Nativity in a pottery cup (Mexico)
Humpty-Dumpty (Harrods, London)
Glass grapes (Niagara-on-the-Lake)
Blown glass tree (Bermuda)
Mickey Mouse in a lightbulb (California)
Bobble-head monkey (McDonald's Happy Meal)
Glass pickle
Glass potato
Frog Prince (2 different ones!)
Pig Prince
Ballerina Elephant
Cinderella (not the Walt Disney version)
4 silk Snow White balls (Walt Disney version)
Silk butterfly
Leprechaun
spaceman in a rocket car
Venetian gondola
train
Santa in a firetruck
glass candy canes
collection of mirrored disco balls
glass and feathered birds
Russian wooden dolls
antique glass balls (all colours)
new glass balls (purple and blue)
cheap flocked balls from Ikea (all colours)
crocheted angels and snowflakes my mom made when I was little
a silk 'Ziggy' ball from Hubs' childhood
ceramic snowman my sister painted circa 1980
glass circus lion
glass circus clown
ballet shoes
jewelled high heel shoe
various creations by the Princess (looking forward to some from Bad!)
nutcrackers (various types)
glass icicles
stuffed Donald Duck
glass teddy bear
glass bell
resin teddy bear
Victorian tin tinsel
clear bead garland
my beloved tree topper (coveted for an entire Christmas season and purchased in February at 75% off!)



It all looks fabulous together once it's up! It really is a tree designed for children (of all ages!). We sit around it and play a Christmas version of eye spy, looking for their favourite ornaments. (The stuffed dog is circa 1985 or so, and he only comes out at Christmas. His name is Poinsetter. I didn't make that up. And please ignore the shutters on the windows. They're hideous, but they came with the house, and 4 years later we haven't gotten around to replacing them yet. Or the ugly carpet. What can I say? It's an old house and the list of things we need to replace is almost as long as Santa's naughty list.)



I don't do a lot of seasonal decorating inside the house, apart from the tree, but what would Christmas be without Reindeer Games? These books and toys live with the ornaments for most of the year, so they're a treat for the kids when they come out again each December.

Other than that, the kids have the trees they made at Bad's birthday, and there's a vase full of pinecones in the powder room. (Just before it snowed we were out walking and the Princess asked me why some trees lost their leaves and some were still green. I explained the difference and we picked up some pinecones - a LOT of pinecones. I thought about making something with them, but just the idea of sticking little googly eyes on to hundreds of pinecones to make little hedgehogs had my head about to implode. I threw them in the vase, and they're actually really pretty. My photo didn't turn out.)

You should check out my blog decorations though, I did this last year too, and lame though it may make me, I just can't help but love it.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you have a season full of hugs and giggles and cheer. (And that Santa comes, too!)

xo Badness

Psst! Go see Jen on the Edge for the list of other houses on the tour!

Merry Christmas from the House of Bad

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Santa's a blogger.

Last night after dinner the Princess and I sent an e-mail to Santa at http://www.santaclaus.ca/, and this morning I found the following in my inbox:

Merry Christmas Princess and Bad and thank you for your email. I hope you are both reading my daily blogs. The toy factory is a buzz of activity. We are busy making Hannah Montana items, lego, and dinosaur toys. These have been some of the most popular items our factory has ever made. The Hannah Montana toys are so much fun to make as the elves love to play with them. Moe Jingle and Jazzy Jingle, two elves from the Dinosaur division, slipped outside the toy factory the other day at lunch time and quietly raced behind the reindeer barn and fed the reindeer too many carrots and lots of hay. I came out to take the reindeer for their daily workout and all they wanted to do was sleep. Moe and Jazzy came out and felt very badly for over feeding the reindeer. They tickled the reindeer hoofs and danced on their backs to awaken them. The reindeer soon started prancing and we were able to go for a nice long flight in the crisp night air. So as you can see, the reindeer are doing better and will be in great shape for Christmas Eve. I always have fun getting ready for Christmas. There is so much going on here that there is no time to worry or get into any mischief. We love this time of year so much. Thanks for leaving some cookies. I told Rudolph that you will be leaving some reindeer food that you made in Kindergarten and his nose lit up really bright. He is already excited to try it. Princess and Bad, I will do my best to make you both happy this Christmas. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.

Love Santa HO! HO! HO!

Maybe not the most masterful turn of phrase, but very nicely personalized, and the Princess was thrilled. And check out www.northpole.com for games and stories too.

The weather outside is frightful....

(I took this 5 minutes ago, at the kitchen door)



I'm just glad that I don't have anywhere to go; it's a perfect day to stay in and make treaties with my babies. I hope that all of you are somewhere safe and warm. (And that you have chocolate!)

Making my lists...I'll be checking them twice....

Guests and where they're sleeping.

MIL - 24th (our room or blow up bed - depends how cranky she makes me)
Mom & Dad - 24th & 25th (Princess's room)
L&S + J&W - 25th (L&S, our room, J - blow up bed, W - travel cot)
A&G (+ dog?) not staying over, whew!

(And where will WE be sleeping? Bad has a double bed, plus room for a queen-sized blow up bed, so we'll all be in his room together.)

Christmas baking

Ginger cookies - done
Chocolate chip cookies - done
Sugar cookie stars - done
Irish cream fudge - done
Lemon squares
Chocolate covered pretzels for gifts
PB balls - L bringing.


Christmas Eve Dinner

Tortiere - mom's bringing it, yeah! (Love it, hate making it)
French bread
Caesar salad
Red wine
Cookies

Christmas Breakfast

Ideas? Anyone? Please? There'll be 5 adults + 2 kids too excited to eat anything

Christmas Lunch

Not having one. People can eat cheese and crackers and nuts and cookies and candy from their stockings.

Christmas Dinner

turkey
stuffing
mashed potatoes (+gravy!)
roast carrots and parsnips
brussels sprouts - I don't care if Hubs hates them. He hates green beans and asparagus too, and I don't feel like making broccoli.
sweet potatoes?
squash?
rolls
Buche de Noel + pecan pie + apple pie for dessert
Am I forgetting anything?

Presents

Just need to get a giftcard for J - unless anyone has a good idea for a 16 year old boy? Around 20-30 bucks?
Everyone else - done

Housekeeping

I'm washing all the extra bedding now - it's been sitting in a drawer for 11 months, and smelled like it. Then I just have to:

Clean out the fridge
Dust everything
Clean 3 washrooms
Vacuum
Wash all floors
Clean up toys. And again, again, again, again, again.
De-clutter everywhere
Make a grocery list
Go grocery shopping
Have a raging hissy fit that no one is helping
Do everything on this list again.
And again.
And again.

Random sleepy thoughts...

This is how they sleep...and last night they made me stay in the middle.....

Bad was talking in his sleep, "bad guy!" over and over and over.... (it wasn't a nightmare, he LIKES bad guys)

We woke up to the Princess singing (over and over and over) "Bells on Bobcats ring!"

"Um, Princess? I think it's bells on BobTAIL ring...Bobtail is the horse's name...do you know what a bobcat is?"

"YES Mummy...it's like a tractor. And I'm making up a NEW song, okay?" (I'm sure you'll have no trouble inserting the attitude inherent in her voice - and once I've figured out what construction vehicles have to do with sleigh rides, I'll pass on the info. I guess this is what comes from letting them watch Bob the Builder Christmas specials?)

The Real Christmas Miracle

Is that I didn't injure either of my children today. And that I didn't have myself committed.

The end.

Overheard at breakfast...

The Princess: "Bad, when you go to school you're not allowed to hit, or kick, or push, or punch, or bite, or spit, or step on people, or else you get a time-out. You're going down, buster!"

Riding in cars with children...

The Princess: "Mo-o-o-mmmy! Why did you have to bring the car to pick me up from school?"

Me: "Because it's really cold, it's minus 12!"

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-o-om! I don't like riding in the car with my whole snowsuit on. I wanted to walk!"

Me: "We have to go pick up your brother from the babysitter, and it's too far for you to walk after school."

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-mmmy! WHY did you have to bring the car? I don't WANT to ride in the car!"

Me: "Because I'm a cruel, evil monster, and because I'm trying to ruin your life."

The Princess (giggling now): "Mom, you're silly!"

Things I never thought I'd say...

to my children, or anyone!

1. Would you mind NOT putting your feet in my pants, please!

2. Seriously, THIS is how dinosaurs like to eat their bananas.

3. How did you get milk in your belly button?

And it's only 7:30 in the morning. Do you think it's gonna be one of those days?

Ali just made me google something that I never EVER would have guessed I'd google. Go see her to see what it was....

Happy Birthdays

Happy Birthday sweetness. I can't believe you're two.



What did you wish for? I'll try to make all your wishes come true.




While I was baking cupcakes for my boy and thinking about this day, two years ago, when I first held him in my arms, my friend Holly gave birth to her first child. Benjamin. I am thrilled beyond words for her, and I can't wait to meet him. Congratulations honey, and welcome to the world, sweet Benjamin. I hope that life will hold endless happiness and magic for you. Happy Birthday.

My son wants ham.

author's note: What follows is a very lame anecdote. I offer it only as a way to avoid housework.

I've never given my babies processed lunch meat. There's the salt and nitrate thing, plus the real reason - I don't eat it. I think it's icky. Hubs, on the other hand, is a fan. And he has converted the boy to his carnivorous ways. (Seriously, I've heard him say, nay CHEER, "Yay! Now I have someone to eat meat with!")

I just walked into the kitchen and Bad was sitting at the table, trying to pry open a new package of Black forest Ham.

Me: Sigh. "Before breakfast? REALLY?"

Bad: "Ya!"

I got a plate and gave him two slices.

Bad: (getting up and walking to the cupboard) "No. Blue. Blue."

Me: (transferring his meat to his chosen dish - WHAT I was thinking, giving him the pink plate on the top of the pile) "Oh. Sorry."

Bad: MO(re)! MO(re)!

Me: Sorry buddy. Choose another food group.

Roarrrrrr!!!!!!

The instructions were for a crocodile cake, but I think he's sufficiently dinosaur-esque for our purposes. There's lots of other fabulous cake ideas there too. And I've learned from my mistakes. He's been carefully covered up and put out of sight until the party tomorrow!

Loot

Inexplicably, and without my say-so, the town has decided to hold Bad's birthday parade a week early this year so we're having his party a week early too. It's a dinosaur/Christmas theme. Bad has somehow got hold of the idea that rather than turning two, he will become a dinosaur on his birthday, and he roars whenever it's mentioned. I'm going to make a dinosaur cake, Santa is coming for his parade, ergo the weird theme. The parade route passes within 100 metres of our house, so we'll all walk up to the end of the street for the free entertainment (and pick up pizzas at Gigi's) before coming home for lunch.

The kids and I went to countless stores this week looking for something dinosaur themed to make into loot bags. I don't like to spend a lot of money on them, but I don't like sending home bags full of junk that I know will just be discarded either. We came up empty everywhere, and the Princess and I made the executive decision to abandon the dinosaurs, and do Christmas loot bags instead. We were in Zellers, and we saw little 16" high silver tinsel trees for $2 each. (My grandparents had a full-size silver tinsel tree, and I admit to harbouring a secret nostalgic love for them.) We bought 7.

Then we designed a teensy weensy angel topper out of recycled Christmas cards and put together a little kit with the instructions and materials for everyone.



Isn't she purdy?

We got a big box of mini candycanes and divvied them up into little baggies, and to put it all in, I grabbed paper bags from the grocery store and labelled them with all the kids names.



I love how the sparkly tops of the trees look, peeping out of their bags. I can't wait to line them all up on top of the piano.

Today I baked a hundred little tiny star shaped sugar cookie ornaments for the kids to decorate with sprinkles and candy at the party.



Yum! But next time I'm just cutting the strings and letting the kids' parents tie them on. I can't believe my fingers aren't bleeding!

It worked out to about $22 for 7 loot bags (well, 8, because I had to have one for myself!) I think they're cute and fun....I hope the kids do too. What's the best loot your kids have ever given or gotten?

Squee!!!!

You: Um....Badness? There's nothing 'squee!!!!' about that chair.

Me: I know...it looks hideous, but try to look past the 40 year old orange and green weave upholstery. Look at the teak legs...look at the curve of the back. And trust me...this is the most comfortable chair I have ever been in. I bought it at Goodwill, 1..2..3....7 years ago. For five bucks. We had no money and we needed a chair. I fell in love with the shape of this one, and I knew it had potential. (I didn't know that I'd have to live with that fabric this long!!!) Anyway, the other day Hubs told me that he'd talked to one of his customers about my chair, and they'd offered to re-upholster it cheap! He told me to go buy fabric!!!!! Squee!!!! Imagine how beautiful it's going to look wearing this:

Here's the fabric hanging over the back of my beloved sofa, so you can see how they look together. (And if you're not sure about the pattern I chose, don't worry. I had to stare at it for ages before I could decide if I loved it or thought it was hideous. It's going to be fabulous....it's like one of those dresses that look like nothing on the hanger, but when you put them on? Va-va-va-voom! This is gonna be one sexy chair.

And don't look at the carpet. Hopefully it'll be the next to go!

Snowman of the Day

The Princess really likes to make snowmen.

Scary - A guest post by Bad

Hey ladies! Did you read my mom's little post about fear earlier? Isn't she cute? So easily scared.... That wasn't so scary. I'll tell you about scary.

Tomorrow is GG's 86th birthday (that's my great-grandma, she's got 14 great-grandchildren now - I, of course, being the GREATEST - and we all call her GG) We're going to go visit her after lunch tomorrow, and meet my grandma and lots of aunts and cousins there, and my mom offered to make a cake. Normally, she'd be bright enough to tackle something like that after I'd gone to bed, but I got her up at 3:30 this morning, and didn't go back down until 6:00, and then the Princess got up at 6:15. What with that and me sticking a cd case into the new computer (I broke the plastic casing for one of the blank spots between the card reader and the CD drive....she wasn't using that bit anyway)...oh yeah, and the whole stair incident...she decided that she'd better make the cake now, in case she couldn't get up again after I went to bed.

You should've seen it....it was a thing of beauty. Mom put it up on top of the stove and went to the bathroom (that was her first mistake!) I just couldn't resist pulling a chair over to get a better look. I had a taste, and somehow, somehow the cake fell off the cake stand onto the burner and broke in half. Personally, I don't think she had it on there properly.

Anyway, this is the look I gave her when she got back to the kitchen. The look she gave ME was scary. So was the inhuman wail that followed the look.

This is actually me having chocolate pudding last week. Think of it as an artist's rendering of the scene - Like they make in court proceedings where no cameras are allowed.

She ignored me while she phoned my grandma to cry about it, and then she got to work fixing the damage. She only had enough icing to glue it back together and smooth out the top, so she threw some chocolate chips in the food processor, and patted the resulting rubble all over the sides. The best bit? The princess and I got to stand at the sink and eat the leftover chocolate rubble!

.

I love you, Mommy. The cake isn't as pretty as it was, but I'm still gonna try to get it down from the piano and stick my face in it. Any suggestions, ladies?

Fear

Ka-thunk! Ka-thunk!
Boy child: "Wah!!!"

Ka-thunk!
Girl child: "No!!"

Ka-thunk!

Instinct has you on your feet and running before your brain has formed the thought....stairs....NO!

Ka-thunk...ka-thunk...ka-thunk!

You see them, somersaulting over each other in a horrible parody of The Three Stooges, except it isn't remotely funny.

Ka-thunk.
Boy child: "Wah!"
Girl child: "Help!"

You're there, but the railing is in your way...they're falling too fast....don't hit the wall, don't hit the wall...

Ka-thunk.

Your girl grabs the railing with one hand and holds her brother, with his head hanging over the bottom stair, inches from the floor, just long enough for you to reach them.

Your boy is crying and you pull him up into your arms, trying to check every inch of him as you reach out a hand for your girl. Your boy is struggling to get out of your arms, you sit down and he picks a book off the floor. Stops crying. Hands it to you. Settles into your lap. Roars. (It's his favourite Dinosaur book)

Despite the fact that your heart is threatening to beat its way right out of your chest you let a tiny laugh escape. You wrap one arm around each child. You read.

The scary part is that there will be a hundred, a thousand, of these moments before they're grown. And then? The fears will be greater, and the hurts less easily soothed.

I'm an ass.

My husband is wonderful, and I totally underestimated him.

Wish Me Luck!

I have an appointment with a vascular surgeon this morning, to see if anything can be done to fix the varicose veins in my legs. (Most days I think my children were worth it!) I had an ultrasound done on them in the summer, and the technician sighed and tut-tutted and "I've never seen veins this bad on someone so young!'ed" so much that I left feeling like a hideous, deformed freak of nature and cried the whole way home. The mere thought of the surgery makes me nauseous and faint, but I'd really like to wear shorts again, so lets hope they can fix me. Fingers crossed!

Update: I didn't get quite the answer I wanted. They can fix my legs, but it's gonna cost me. A lot. More than Hubs is gonna be willing to pay. I was going to crawl back in bed to cry and feel sorry for myself, but I decided to pick Bad up from the babysitter early so that I can crawl back into HIS bed, and hold him while HE naps, and count my blessings instead.

Blown.

We took the kids to the Santa Claus Parade on Sunday. It was fabulous, but the Princess and I were both disappointed by the absence of the upside-down clowns. (You're all welcome to mock my uncool snowsuit and hat, but I refused to be cold. And you need more layers than you'd think to sit on the sidewalk in comfort for 3+ hours!)

Anyway, I meant to post after the kids went to bed on Sunday night, but I laid down with Bad and when I got up again, it was Monday. So no mo Nablopomo fo me.

It's kind of a relief, what with trying to dig myself out from under the alarming mountain of laundry we generated this weekend....four snowsuits and two sleeping bags from the parade, plus the usual mess generated by a weekend here at the House of Bad. The last load is in the dryer now, and then I can move on to the rest of the cleaning. No rest for the wicked!

My own Christmas Elf

Too bad he's not baking cookies with that spoon - he just spanked me in the bum - OUCH!!

Fight

Yesterday. 4:40pm. The phone rings.

Me: Hello?

Hubs: Hi babe.

Me: Hey. What's up?

Hubs: A is dropping in for a visit. (A is an old friend of Hubs. In my head I think of him as Great Big Scary Bearded Bi-Polar Man. Thankfully we don't see him a lot, and even less lately, because although he is Jewish he has also recently become a born-again Christian and has been spending a lot of time in Africa.)

Me: What? When?

Hubs: Well he's in Barrie, so in about half an hour.

Me: @#$%! I mean, what? The house is disgusting...I've been out all day, I haven't even swept the floors or cleaned up the toys! Is he coming for dinner?

Hubs: We haven't worked out the details.

Me: Well, are you going to be home before he gets here?

Hubs: No....

Me: Well, what am I supposed to do with him until you get home?

Hubs: You can just let him play with the kids!

Me: Right. Because the kids are likely to take to a Great Big Scary Bearded Bi-polar Man they've seen once in their lives STRAIGHT AWAY.

Hubs: Don't worry so much. Hold on. Just let me finish what I'm doing here and I'll call you back. Click.

For the next ten minutes I rushed around the house, sweeping, putting things away, making beds, looking frantically in empty cupboards for food....I decided to order pizza, yelled at the kids to clean up their toys, and put on clean clothes....and then the phone rang again.

Hubs: I'm meeting A down here instead.

Me: What! But I've just been rushing around trying to clean up and find something to feed him! And you didn't make it home for supper last night, and you're spending all day tomorrow at rugby! What about the kids?

Hubs: Well you didn't want him to come! YOu can't have it both ways you know!

Me: Great! Have a FABULOUS time! Click.

I fed the kids Kraft Dinner, because I didn't feel like cooking or eating. I gave them a bath, and wrestled them into their jammies, and put them both to bed in Bad's room. I laid down between them and read a dozen stories. Once they were asleep I got up, brushed my teeth, put on jammies....and crawled back between them. Their sighs and snores and warm little bodies made me feel a lot less lonely.

I'm rather dreading Hubs getting up.

Bootcamp, Shmootcamp

You want a real work-out? Spend the morning running errands with a toddler. Specifically, with Bad. I'm EXHAUSTED. And the grande non-fat latte and 1/2 slice of reduced-fat chocolate-chip banana cake isn't really cutting it as lunch. I wonder if Hubs ate all the leftover chicken?

"You're making what?"

That's what I said to my mom last year when she brought out all the ingredients she'd bought to make meatballs at the Princess's birthday party.

"Yuck! Don't poison my guests!"

"Stop being ridiculous. I read this in a magazine, I'm sure it will be delicious!"

"You've never made it? You're EXPERIMENTING on my friends?!"

"Yes. Now go away."

"This is my kitchen!"

"And I'm your mother. Go."

I went. And, as always, she was right. They were delicious. My 5 year old niece told my brother to get the recipe. And I surrepetitiously ate every remaining meatball (not that there were many!) after everyone had gone home.

And you can make it in the slow cooker, so this has now become a favourite recipe for nights when the Princess has dancing or swimming. And, because I love you, here it is.

Badness's Mom's Fabulous Sweet and Spicy Meatballs

One can JELLIED cranberry sauce (the kind with no pieces of fruit)
One jar salsa (medium or hot)
frozen italian meatballs

Put the cranberry jelly and salsa in the slow cooker. Break up the jelly a bit with a wooden spoon and stir it around a bit. If you're short on time you can heat it up in a saucepan first. Add the meatballs. Cook. Eat.

If you cook it on high, this only takes a couple hours, in fact, you can do it in half an hour in a saucepan on the stove. But it gets better the longer it simmers, so you can throw it in on low in the morning and let it simmer all day. This makes enough sauce for 50-60 meatballs if you're doing it for a party, but if I'm doing it for us I cook about 20 meatballs and then I put the leftover sauce in the freezer and use it for one more meal. (And a note on the salsa, use the cooked kind, I usually just buy the store brand for this, the jar I used last night was 650ml.)

You can serve this with pasta (my kids fave), or rice, or just fresh bread and salad (my fave).
Bad ate 5 last night. I was dreaming of leftovers for lunch, but Hubs ate them. Typical.

Warning!!!! Big Wordy Post Ahead....

I’ve been thinking endlessly about what to write in this post. I’ve been beating myself up for putting some weight back on. It has to stop. (the weight gain, and the self-abuse!) Yes, I’ve let some of my good habits slip, but since August I’ve also gone from nursing Bad every 3-4 hours, day AND night, to one bedtime love and milk-fest. I think my body was using a lot of extra calories to keep him fed, and I didn’t think to adjust my intake accordingly when I started laying down the nursing law.

I’ve watched my mom struggle with her weight my entire life, but she has gotten down to a healthy weight by eating well, and she’s been swimming and walking several times a week. She looks amazing – yay Mom! Both of my maternal grandparents were overweight. I’ve watched all four of my siblings lose and gain weight over the years. My mom’s sister was morbidly obese for decades. About 5 years ago she had a gastric bypass and got down to a size 14 (she’s 5’11). She has had terrible side effects, and still vomits weekly, if not daily, and her resulting malnutrition has caused her to suffer memory loss and blackouts. Yet, despite what seems to me a horrible outcome from the surgery, she has told my mom with complete sincerity that she would rather die than gain back the weight. I refuse to go down that path. I am genetically predisposed to weight gain. I will not allow myself to use that as an excuse. I can be the ‘skinny’ one in the family, but I have to give up the illusion that I will ever be able to let my guard down. I need to make a conscious and continued commitment to my body and my health.

This doesn’t mean dieting. It doesn’t mean joining a gym and performing innumerable repetitions of mind-numbing exercises. I lost the weight without taking drastic or horrible measures, and I can keep it off doing the same things. I just have to remind myself to make them a habit again, and why it’s so important.

1. Water before coffee – I know, all the experts tell you to drink 8 glasses a day, but that’s hard and I have to go pee enough as it is. I’m sure that more is better, but if I drink a big glass when I first get up, and one glass before or with lunch and one glass before or with dinner, it’s enough to make a difference.

2. Treat cheese as a condiment or garnish, not the main component of every other meal.

3. Eat what I really want to eat. I couldn’t survive on a low-carb diet. I’d be fainting within 2 days. That said, I’m picky about those carbs. Does anyone REALLY enjoy Wonder bread? I keep homemade muffins in the freezer, buy fresh bakery bread, and have even discovered that you can make up a batch of biscuits or scones, roll them out, then freeze them individually and bake them up straight from frozen when needed. A fresh hot scone with strawberry jam, or dry plastic toast-bread for breakfast….what are you really going to enjoy?

4. Plain non-fat yogurt. Learn to love it.

5. Homemade soup. Maybe because it’s low-cal, maybe because it ups my liquid intake, maybe because I love it; I’m not sure what it is, but the more I make this part of my diet, the easier my weight is to maintain.

6. Eat what I really want to eat. I’m the one planning and shopping and cooking. I need to stop trying to please Hubs and the kids. They can always have bread and fruit and yogurt, and they should learn to eat better anyway.

7. Exercise with my kids. I really want to start running again, but Hubs is never going to make the commitment to help me, so I need to just accept that. Once the boy is sleeping through the night and I can be reasonably sure that I can get up and run and get home before he wakes up and destroys the house while Hubs snores obliviously on, then I can run. Until then, we walk places. We run around at the park. And we’ll be going swimming once a week all winter.

8. Plan. Cook big batches of that soup, those muffins, so there is always something in the freezer that I want to eat.


I need to keep things in perspective. Yes, my jeans have gotten tight, but I couldn’t even pull these jeans ON last January, things are not so bad.

Anything I’ve forgotten? Leave me your tips, I’m always glad of help and inspiration!

Conversations with Children

The Princess: "Mommy, we made poppies at school today with our reading buddies!"

Me: "That's great, did you have fun?"

The Princess: "Yep! Poppies are flowers, right?"

Me: "That's right."

The Princess: "Can you say the poppy poem for me again?"

Me: "In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place, and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amidst the guns below

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, say sunset glow
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands we throw
The torch, be yours, to hold it high
If yea break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields."

The Princess: "I like that poem, Mommy."

Me: "I like it too."

The Princess: "My uncle wrote it, right?"

Me: "Your great-great-great uncle. Grandpa's grandma's brother. Colonel John McRae."

The Princess: "Yeah. And he was a soldier. The soldiers came to our school last year and sang O Canada with us."

Me: "Did you like that?"

The Princess: "Yes! The soldiers are really nice! Remember when we saw them in a parade?"

Me: "Yes baby. I do."

Thank you Great Great uncle John. Thank you Grandpa Macey. Thank you Grandpa Holmes. Thank you Great Uncle Joe. Thank you Great Uncle Chum. Thank you to every soldier, each man and each woman who made unbelievable sacrifices to protect our country. Because of you, my children live in a blessed time, in a blessed place, with nothing in their frame of reference to help understand what is meant by war. I haven't forgotten. I won't let them forget. Thank you.

Badness vs Fatness - Fight to the Death

In this corner, standing five feet seven inches tall and weighing in at slightly over her optimum fighting weight of 140 lbs, our intrepid hero and reigning champion - BAdness!!! (yay! woot!)

And in the other corner, trying to stage a comeback with sneaky underhanded tactics like birthday cake and Hallowe'en treats, weighing in at (yeah right! that number's going with me to the grave!) the evil nemesis FATness Jones! (boo! hiss!)

Stay tuned fans, tomorrow Badness will fill us in on her plans to defeat that sneaky fat girl for good.

All she wants for Christmas....

The Parade is next weekend. Ergo, we need our letters ready to deliver. I sat down with the Princess to make her list, and quickly realized that a new strategy was needed. She doesn't just want a Barbie, she wants a Hannah Montana singing concert Barbie. It would've been tortuous for me to watch her painstakingly print that out, letter by letter, while simultaneously trying to keep Bad from sabotaging her efforts. So, compromise. A little printing practise, a little cut and paste.

She also wants a Strawberry Shortcake castle but she's been warned that Santa has a lot of kids to make presents for, and all the kids have to share. I also told her that sometimes Santa brings wonderful surprises, because he has even better ideas for toys than we do. (There's a limit to the amount of money and effort I'm willing to put into procuring cheap plastic toys. Bah Humbug!)

But at Midnight, you'll turn into a pumpkin...

Well, you might, if you eat as many of these as Hubs and my kids have been eating! I read a recipe for chocolate-chip pumpkin muffins the other day, and quickly ran out for pumpkin so that I could make them. I learned a long time ago that my family expects chocolate in their muffins, and as long as it's there, they'll accept any other ingredients without comment or complaint. Bananas, apples, whole-wheat, wheat germ, oatmeal, peanut butter, spelt, now pumpkin. You name it, they'll eat it with chocolate. The first batch was good, and they gobbled them down, but I wasn't satisfied. So I tinkered the recipe a bit and tried again. These are lighter, spicier, and healthier too! Ta da!

Badness's Better Chocolate-chip Pumpkin Muffins

Preheat oven to 375 F

Mix:

1 1/2 cup wholewheat flour
1 cup all purpose flour
1 t baking soda
1 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1/4 t ground cloves

Set aside, and in a big bowl combine:

1 cup pumpkin puree (NOT pie filling)
1 1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla (but I was out, and they were fine)

Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and stir gently just until combined. When the flour is almost incorporated add chocolate chips. (I used 1/2 of a 350g bag, but you should use as few or as many as you want)

This amount was originally for 12 muffins, but I made 24. The kids and I like the small ones, and Hubs can always eat two. So, if you make 24 you'll want to bake them for about 15 minutes, if you make 12 it'll probably take 20. But keep an eye on them, every oven is different.

Enjoy!

Wake-up Call

I woke up this morning to the sound of a car alarm. I glanced at the clock. 5:05. I lay my head back down for the merest moment before it registered that the sound was MY car alarm. I jumped out of bed and as I hit the bottom stair, I recognized another sound over the cacophony in the driveway. Giggles. I looked toward the sound, and there was Bad. On his tiptoes, looking out the window at the flashing lights and screaming siren of my car. My keys in his hand, finger on the panic button. He's a remote control prodigy.

My sincerest apologies, if you live in my street. I've got coffee on, if you can't get back to sleep either....

The Battle of Midway...

Ta da! Okay, I'm only half done, but still, I've done a lot. All the furniture has been moved, and I've thrown out a couple bags of garbage. All of the children's things have been transported back to their rooms.



Some of you might be looking in this closet and thinking, "This girl has no clothes!" I have a confession to make. I have no clothes. At some point after the Princess was born I listened to the advice that you shouldn't hold on to too small clothes that you might be able to wear again 'someday'. I kept a couple pairs of jeans and a dress that I'd spent a lot of money on and barely worn, and gave the rest away. So in the beginning of the year, when I finally got my act together and lost all the baby and 'husband' weight, I was left me with....almost nothing. I bought some summer things, and I've got a few pairs of jeans in the dresser, but I think I'm going to have to hit up a couple consignment shops to get myself through the winter. Maybe Santa will be good to me!



The kids and I spent hours shopping yesterday, we hit HomeSense, and Wal-Mart, and the SuperStore, but I didn't find the boxes and bins that I want to re-organize all the craft, wrapping, gift and holiday supplies that also hide in the closet. I used some laundry baskets for the time being, but they're not pretty, I think I can hear Ikea calling my name. I'll be able to pick up a lamp there too.



You can probably see from the photos that we've never decorated this room. I think I'm going to make that my project for the spring. I want to make a big 'inspiration/bulletin' board to hang over the desk, something covered in fabulous fabric. I can dream all winter about new bedding, new bedside tables.....

But for now? It's nice just to be able to walk in there!

Coming out of the closet....

Hubs bought a new computer for his company last week, and I (yay!) inherited the old one. This is lovely in that I will have much more time to post and visit bloggy friends, but it has created some furniture arrangement issues. I ran to Ikea and bought the smallest and cheapest computer table I could find, and set it up in a corner of the living room. I actually really like it, Hubs took issue with the fact that the keyboard shelf is white, but this bookcase we've had forever is in the same room, and it kind of ties it together.

The problem is that the computer table displaced an old table and chairs that the kids used for colouring. I've decided that the kids can do crafts in the kitchen for now, and I took the old table up to my bedroom. I'm going to create my own little spot for drawing and wrapping and whatever. But -

This is now the corner of my room. This is the BEFORE. This is today's project. Hopefully by tonight I will be able to post the AFTER.

Wish me luck....gulp.

For the girl

This morning as we were putting on our coats and shoes for the walk to school, the Princess piped up, "Mommy? How about for a special surprise you clean this closet while I'm at school?" She's DEFINITELY my child.

She hates it when she can't get in to find her things on her own. Closet space is a constant problem in this house. There wasn't a coat closet at all when we first moved in. The old owners walked halfway through the house and hung their things in the kitchen. We turned THAT cupboard into a much needed pantry, and we punched a doorway through to the front room and stole 3' from it to create a powder room and a small walk-in closet.

The closet helps a lot, but it needs to hold an awful lot of stuff. Especially during the spring and fall, when the weather can go from 'jeans and tees' to 'snowsuit and mittens' and back again overnight. Add in the purses and school bags, my sewing machine, extra boxes of kleenex...all in all it can be an organizational nightmare.



But for now, it's beautiful...and it will stay that way, at least until Hubs gets home.



And how do you like my new boots? Hubs thinks they're a little muk-luk-esque, but they're fuzzy and soft inside, which is perfect for someone who hates to be cold and hates to wear socks.

"May the force be with you...."

That's what Hubs said to me this morning as he opened my car door for me, after he'd helped strap in our screaming, squirming offspring. They didn't want to go to swimming lessons. To be honest, I didn't particularly want to take them, but I figured it was safer for all of us to get out of the house. I know that I'm lucky to be able to stay home with my children, but some days....on some days, full time employment looks pretty good. At least Hubs knows how good he's got it, and never complains about the state of the house or noodles for dinner again.

Tricks or tips anyone? How do you fill your days at home with little children? What do you do to pull yourselves out of a funk?

Best intentions....

So whose dumb idea was it to try to start eating well the day after Hallowe'en? On a day the house was overflowing with candy and treats of all kinds? Oh yeah. Mine. I'm an eejit. Let's just say that day one was a bust. I made it through the morning, making beds, putting away laundry, shaking over-tired and over-sugared children off of my legs. I made homemade soup for lunch, and passed on the grilled cheese sandwiches I made for everyone else to eat with it. Then I spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa, eating candy and reading a book.

Well, it's a new day, but we're completely out of coffee so I don't hold out much hope for it.

I'm going to go clean out the pantry before taking the kids to buy groceries. It's an exciting life. Sigh.

Housekeeping

A little light housekeeping; mental, physical, and otherwise. Aahhh, sweet November. Since October begins with the Princess' birthday and ends with Hallowe'en, and December begins with Bad's birthday and ends with Christmas, November is a bit of a respite here at the House of Bad. So what have I decided to do with that respite? NaBloPoMo.


This year, however, it'll be NaBloPoMo with a purpose. The decluttering of my house, my body and my brain, and you can read about all of it, right here. I may not be able to afford therapy, but I have my own little space here to rant and rave, and some wonderful bloggy friends to keep me honest.


I've already started with the house, and since everyone seemed to like the photos of my fridge last Christmas, I'll post some shots of my newly organized cupboards, closets and drawers. By December, my house might not shine, but it'll be organized within an inch of its life, and very easy for Hubs to clean while I sit back and watch from the sofa.

Also? I've let my eating habits slip, and I've gained a few pounds back. I'm still wearing my 'skinny' clothes, but I feel bloated and sluggish in them. Time to start paying attention again, and to start drinking more water and less coffee. Yuck. That should up the snark factor over here.

Wish me luck....and happy posting, everyone!

Happy Hallowe'en!

Damn it. None of my pictures turned out. Oh well, the decorations were spooky, the children adorable, and the candy delicious. So Happy Hallowe'en from all of the monsters and goblins here at the House of Bad!

Fourth Fourth

I saw this meme over at Jen on the Edge. It's just the fourth photo in the fourth file in your Pictures folder. This is what I found. The Princess was 2, and already perfectly accessorized, even while sleeping. What will you find?

Something REALLY Scary....

You think ghosts and goblins are creepy? How about this much snow before Hallowe'en?


The Princess wanted to make a snowman, but then we decided a snow witch would be better.

Bad was not impressed. I'm with you buddy.

I feel the Crazies coming on....

Most of you are probably going to think that it's too early to be thinking about Christmas, but since we're hosting my family this year, I asked Hubs last night whether he wanted to go to his mom's or his sister's, or if he wanted to find a day to invite them here. I apparently wasn't specific enough in my suggestion that I couldn't handle everybody at once, and he called his mom and she's coming to stay from Christmas Eve through Boxing Day. And his sister will show up, boyfriend and enormous dog in tow, whenever she feels like it.

My MIL is not the devil. I have to keep repeating this to myself. She loves my kids, she is generous to us, and the fact that even thinking about her spending two nights here, two months from now, is making me yell at my children, obsessively clean the stove and my skin itch, well, I guess that's my problem. The woman is negative, she knows exactly which buttons to push, and I don't enjoy her company. I get defensive and angry and paranoid and crazy, whenever she's around. Whenever I even contemplate her being around. I don't want to list her faults, because I have more than enough of my own, but she once gave me a diet book for my birthday. That's just the kind of thing she does.

I think I need to get medicated. Maybe a secret bottle of Valium would take the edge off things for me.

Planning, however, is the key. I need to have everything done, every single detail laid out in advance. I know from experience that despite his best intentions, my husband is going to let me down. He won't help with the shopping, with the cleaning, with the wrapping, or the cooking. He will promise to do it, and then when he doesn't and I go bat-shit crazy, he will become the injured party, because I'm crazy, and those things that I think are important to do are just "crazy and obsessive". Hmm...I think there's another post right there.

Anyway. I'm rambling. I fear for my mental health.

Meh!

It's snowing. It's effing snowing. That's all.

Update: No, that's NOT all! It's a SNOWSTORM! An effing snowstorm. GAH!!!!

Dinner Theatre....for the Preschool set

A construction crew was very thoughtfully providing a live version of Mighty Machines this morning, which can keep Bad entranced for ages. But we've got swimming, and I needed him to eat breakfast, so.....

Mmm, Pie.....

I have to admit it. Thanksgiving this year was a little disappointing on the dessert front. My mom did make a delicious lemon meringue pie, and a yummy little chocolate cream number (Bad and the Princess's favourites, respectively) but my MIL inexplicably decided to serve chocolate chip banana bread and fruit salad for dessert. I mean, wtf?

Consequently, there has been an unhappy little voice in my head muttering, "pie...apple pie....why me have no pie?" at inopportune moments all week. I decided today that something had to be done before this craving got ridiculously out of hand.

This is what we're having for dinner....now what am I going to do with myself until it comes out of the oven?

update: it's out of the oven....(and we are having soup first)

mmm....delicious pie....I can't wait to eat you!

A little burlesque?

You've all probably noticed that I haven't been blogging regularly. I just haven't had the energy. I miss all my bloggy friends, but I just can't seem to pull myself out of the fog I've been in. However, sometimes you see things that have to be shared, and one of them is in my living room right now:



Check out the Pirate Pasties!!

xo Badness

Parties and Pools and Purses

My baby girl turned 5 yesterday. It has been a busy week. We celebrated with a party on the weekend, complete with the requested Princess Castle cake. It was lovely to have the house full of our beloved friends and family, but the party only kicked off the excitement.



We packed up the car on Monday morning and left for Niagara Falls right after swimming lessons. The kids loved the Falls, and the waterpark in our hotel, and all of the tacky amusements and concessions available on Clifton Hill.



We got back yesterday afternoon - just in time to leave again for the Princess's ballet lesson. I'dve skipped it, but the first class of each month is 'dress-up', and I would never have been forgiven for missing it. After dancing I cooked a late dinner, we ate the leftover castle and the birthday girl opened her presents from us before collapsing into bed. I wish I could say I joined her, but I had to make birthday cupcakes for her to take to school today. I think that mommy needs a present.

And what better present than a new handbag? Check out this new website, http://www.handbagplanet.com/, and the FREE!!! handbags they're giving away to celebrate their launch. And I really hope that y'all win one....just not the one I want!

Badness goes postal...

Hubs and I realized the other day that we'd been a bit lax, and hadn't set up an RESP for Bad yet. ANd then we realized that we couldn't, because we hadn't applied for his SIN. So today I dropped the Princess off at school, rooted around in our files for Bad's passport and headed down to our friendly government offices.

"Hi, I just need to apply for a SIN for my son."

"Was he born in Canada?"

"Yes."

"Do you have his birth certificate?"

"No...I brought his passport."

"I'm sorry, we need his birth certificate."

"But...do you know how much I had to pay for his passport? How much trouble I went through to procure it? This is the HOLY GRAIL of personal identification!!! It's much better than a birth certificate....I'm an artist, and trust me - I could forge a Canadian birth certificate with one hand tied behind my back....but I couldn't forge this! Couldn't you make an exception?"

"I'm sorry, but if he was born in Canada we need his birth certificate. That's the primary documentation."

"I'M sorry...did you say IF HE WAS BORN IN CANADA? Do you mean that if he was born somewhere else you'd accept a passport as ID?

"Well....yes."

(insert outraged speechless sputtering here)

I heard the friendly government employee apologizing feebly for their asinine policy as I turned around and stomped out, unable to trust myself to speak. Luckily I live halfway between two government 'Community Service Centres' (their name, NOT mine) and so tomorrow, to save myself the agony of facing the same government employee twice, I will be off to the second one, proper primary documentation in hand. Gah.

Who's afraid of a crocodile?

I took the kids and one of their friends to Reptilia today. I am NOT a reptile person, but I forced myself to suck down my fear and go, because Bad and the Princess love it there. We were the only visitors this morning and one of the keepers came out and got a turtle, a python, and a lizard out of the cages for them to pet. (The Princess was a little bit disappointed, because she wanted to pet the huge Nile crocodile, she's obviously not a wussy like her mother.) He was fabulous (even a little dishy, if you like Australian accents and men in khaki - but it could be just me, I'm attracted to anyone who'll entertain my children so I don't have to!), answering all their questions, giving them all kinds of information, and lots of his time. It's a wee bit expensive, but today's visit was definitely worth it.





Entranced.





Learning about turtles.





They let this lizard LICK them. Time to wash your hands kids!!!

Fashionista

This post over at Jen on the Edge inspired me to post the latest dress-up antics of my babies. Only Bad can pull off dancing in a tiara and a tutu and still look like a bruiser. What are your children wearing today?