On Tuesday I posted "Happy happy me!" on my Facebook page. I hate to follow that up with "I'm not getting back out of bed until July" so I guess I'll bitch and moan here instead. Bad got kicked out of nursery school. I'm miserable.
Here's the thing. The nursery school is wonderful. It's right across the street, and it's owned and run by a couple that are (were?) our friends. They had a baby at the end of August and we were thrilled for them. They'd hired a wonderful teacher to cover the maternity leave, but because they live above the school we knew they'd be around a lot, and it really put our minds at ease.
We're idiots that way.
Bad's first day was great. They were amazed at his colouring - hey, I'm his mom, he comes by his talent naturally! Ha! They were all, "He did GREAT! We have no worries about him." But then it started to go downhill. He started crying for me, and they had a hard time engaging him. The thing was, as soon as I picked him up he was cheerful, and he'd talk happily about school and his friends. When the Princess was having a hard time at her first daycare, that distress carried over into her behaviour and disposition in the evenings and weekends. With Bad there was none of that, I wasn't really worried about him, because when he was with me he was his usual happy self.
Then one day they called me to pick him up. At 10:00. After barely 45 minutes of school. We brainstormed ideas. (Well, I brainstormed ideas and typed them up into a very polite letter.) We switched him from full days to half days to help him transition. And then. Yesterday. I dropped Bad off in his class and as I was leaving, one of the couple, let's call him Dick, pulled me into the kitchen and said, and I quote, "This is it. If he doesn't snap out of this after Friday that's it. We can not tolerate him any more." Excuse me?
You can't tolerate my child? I'm not saying he's perfect - his nickname isn't Bad for no reason....he's stubborn and willful and wild, but he's also smart and funny and talented and affectionate and wonderful. And it's not like he was hitting or biting the other children - he was crying for his mommy. He's TWO.
So. I've been crying for 36 hours. I'm angry and sad and my feelings are hurt. I'm defensive and confused. And really? There's nothing I can do. I can't rant and rave at these people, they live right across the street and I have to pass their house twice a day taking the Princess to school. Unless I take a ridiculously long detour, I pass their house going to the grocery store, the coffee shop, and the post office. Plus - I like them. I get that they're tired and sleep-deprived with a newborn, and I'm sure I'd get sick of listening to someone's child cry all day too - but here's the thing. I don't run a NURSERY SCHOOL. I don't get paid to do that. They do.
And make no mistake. They are the ones that failed Bad - not the other way around. And they are the ones that will ultimately lose out. But in the meantime? This is crappy, and I kind of hope their baby is colicky and cries for the next 3 months straight.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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14 comments:
My son did the same thing at his first daycare. He cried all the way there and cried when we got there and was still crying when I picked him up. So I pulled him out even though I still had to work and had no other options but luckily I found another daycare that happened to have a space coming open and I told my story to them and they wanted him because he was a 'special case' and he just loved it there. I realized in retrospect that the crying was 'I'm not happy here' even though he couldn't say it. Pulling him out was the best thing I did. I'm sure in retrospect you will look back and be glad he didn't stay there longer, if that helps!
That really stinks. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
They handled that really badly. I hope you can find a better situation for Bad.
Oh, this is TERRIBLE! Oh, poor baby! He's just a baby still, what do they mean "can't tolerate"?? I will throw rocks at them!
Pbbblllbbbbbpptt! I stick out my tongue at them! Stinkers. May Bad be blissful elsewhere....
:( I'm sorry. I bawled for hours when Justin's piano teacher emailed me and said she didn't want to teach him anymore, even though he had the most potential she'd ever seen in a student. She didn't ENJOY being with him. She didn't like my kid. It sucked.
He's TWO though. He's a BABY. Who misses his MOMMY.
I feel for you, honey. Take heart.
Oh wow. I can't believe they kicked him out. How rude!
That's horrible and hurtful. I'm sorry that they kicked Bad out but like others have said, maybe that wasn't the best place for him? I am sure you will find somewhere that he will feel comfortable and happy. I can't quite believe that anybody would be like that about a 2yo who misses his Mummy though. I'm pretty sure they're going to look back and realise what arsehats they were in a couple of years when they have their own 2yo.
I'm sorry.
That's awful.
Matt's been kicked out of stuff too (not daycare - I pulled him out of one) and it's hurtful. No matter the reason.
I hear what everyone is saying - it is probably better that you are out of the situation. But still.
If it helps, when I've taken Matt out of situations (whether by choice or not) the next situation has ALWAYS been better.
Don't get me started on karate ...
And, when we started Matt in daycare he SCREAMED. They told us that is what they expect and that is what they are trained for. Seriously. What 2 year old doesn't freak?
Seriously? Poor guy!
Please don't let it get you down, you are right, they did not do their job. He is better off not being there. Poor guy, he is just a baby yet. Sending you big hugs.
What?? Who says that???? About a 2-yr old no less!!!
We can't tolerate him???
I'm totally speechless about this! It's just appalling that anyone would say that about ANY small child.
It sounds like Bad can't tolerate them either, so it's a good thing that you're parting ways.
But seriously, it is a nursery school, if they cannot deal with typical 2 year old separation anxiety (he's a BABY, he misses his Mommy) what good are they? Not every kid adjusts as well or quickly and sure, it's tough on everyone, but it's their JOB to deal. And to give you a sense that your child is well taken care of in your absence. Obviously it is beyond their capability.
I had to laugh when you said you wished them colic - you're too funny! This is an awkward situation to be sure (as in the friendship) and I feel badly about that for you.
Oh I know exactly how you mean! 9 years ago, Boo was "asked to leave" his short day-care (our equivalent of a nursery) because he cried all day.
I was SO upset. It challenged all my ideals of a supportive community and also meant that I couldn't work until I found an alternative.
I finally found a family day-care worker (do you have those in Canada?) who adored him. She cared for 3 children at a time in her own home. He spent 2 days a week there for 2 years and loved every minute of it.
In the end, it was the best thing that could have happened.
But that didn't take away from the pain of being rejected from the "nursery" that also cared for his best friend, and had cared for Boo's older brother.
I hope that you have as happy an outcome as we did.
What an unprofessional way to handle a BABY who missed his mother. My God.
It's best to know now, I guess, that they're not the people you want spending time with your child. But ouch - nothing like having friendships end with people who you can't avoid, too.
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