How do you meet everyone's needs, once you have two...or more? The princess has been pretty good to her brother, though it's getting harder now that he's asserting himself and behaving less like a doll. Sometimes she'll ask me to put him down for his morning nap (at all times of day!) or even "Put that baby in a drawer!" so that she can have all my attention. It breaks my heart. She is pretty low maintenance for a 4 year old. She's always been an 'easy' child to care for. Happy to play on her own, listens to instructions, etc. The boy? Not so much. I spend so much time attending to him, not only with the feedings and diapers that all babies need, but also rescuing him from trouble a hundred times a day. Yesterday I was reading 'Olivia' to my girlie, and had to put it down 3 times to grab Badness. It's not a long book.
I know that this baby stage will pass, but I want to do everything I can to help them develop a close and loving relationship that will last into adulthood. My younger sister and I are very close, she's one of my very best friends, and I would like this for my children. I know that my husband loves his sister, but he doesn't always like or respect her. It sometimes makes me cringe when I hear how he speaks to her, and about her. Even to his mother, who never speaks up to defend either of them when they get started with insults and arguing.
Life isn't fair, and I'm not going to make myself crazy trying to make things equal for them. But I do want to try to strike a balance, to make sure they both know how much they are adored, and to make sure that the princess gets all the mommy time she needs, because I know she wants it even though she doesn't scream as loudly as her brother.
2 comments:
That's been one of our challenges as well, striking the balance between a more overtly needier, louder baby now preschooler and her older, fairly angelic older brother. She always screams the loudest; he usually should know better.
I think realizing it and making a conscious effort to balance is the biggest part. What I've tried to do (and haven't nearly enough) is have alone time with my son, dates if you will, so he can have his mommy all to himself. I love those times probably more than he even does. And while we love to do things together as a family, we'll often split up, one parent per child, to have quality time.
We were watching that show "Jon & Kate plus 8" last night; the family has a set of twins, and a set of sextuplets. Born 4 years apart. Now that's a real challenge!
My daughter was three and a half when our son was born. It was a huge adjustment period, but it all worked out. they are now 21 and 18 and fairly close. They go to the same small college and seem to enjoy one another's company when they're home. I like to remind her that she blamed him for tearing her book pages when he was a newborn in my arms. that makes both of them laugh.
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