A Baby Rant

One of my bloggy friends posted a request for advice on what to read before conception. Inevitably, I suppose, What to Expect when you're Expecting was mentioned. I hate that book. I don't think that any pregnant woman should read it. I read it when I was expecting the Princess, and was sent into spirals of self-loathing for failing to live up to the standards of pregnant behaviour it advocates.

The Best Odds diet? I would need a personal chef to eat like that at the best of times. When I was pregnant I didn't have a chance. I took Diclectin but I still threw up multiple times every day for over 27 weeks. From seven weeks, when the "morning" sickness started until the Princess was born, I couldn't swallow a single pre-natal vitamin. I went weeks and weeks without drinking milk. The only liquids I could get down were ice chips and Coca-cola...and I don't drink coke when I'm not pregnant. I went months without any protein. The smell of meat, and particularly eggs, would make me leave the house. I retched at the sight or smell of chocolate!

What I'm trying to say is that no one knows how their body is going to react to pregnancy, and for those forty odd weeks their body really doesn't belong to them anyway. The last thing any of us needs is a set of unrealistic expectations to fail to meet. There is a lot of information on what can go wrong with a pregnancy in that book. Information that will apply to only the tiniest segment of the population. The author's note to only read the subjects that pertain to you personally is ridiculous - who is going to heed that advice? It all falls into the category of too much information. Why scare yourself? Find a doctor or midwife that you like and trust, and listen to what they tell you. Listen to your body. Just do your best and don't worry about being perfect. No one is perfect.

As a group, mommies are way too self-critical. We despair that we're bad moms for not wanting to play with Barbies or toy cars for hours on end, for wanting to pee by ourselves, for being human. We spend nine months pregnant and then every waking hour (and plenty when we'd rather be sleeping!) tending to the needs of others and then we beat ourselves up for bodies that aren't as smooth and taut as we think they should be.

The fact that you're already worrying about being your best, doing everything right, proves that you're a natural. Margaret, I hope that everything goes smoothly and happily and exactly the way you want. I have my fingers crossed for you. Have fun working on it. I hope you don't mind that I wrote this post (let me know, if you want I'll take it down) but I think you're amazing and I would hate for you to suffer any pre and post-partum depression like me. Any baby would be lucky to have you.


In other news, Veronica at Sleepless Nights gave me my first award! I'm going to give it to Margaret, because I like her and her blog so much (- and hopefully she'll forgive me for this post!) And to Karen, because she was the first person to ever comment here, and even though she's busy with a new job her blog is still great.

Party in the House of Bad

We've had a fantastic couple of days here at the House of Bad. Hub's cousin has been visiting from England and I adore her - she's funny and sweet and generous to a fault. There isn't a lovelier person anywhere. I left Bad at the sitter's on Thursday while the Princess was at school and went to pick H up from Hub's mom's house. (Grandma J was horrified that I hadn't brought her babies - for a minute I didn't think she would let me in!)

I had offered to take H shopping, which is half the reason she comes over, but I was a little apprehensive as I didn't know her very well. I shouldn't have worried, we had the best afternoon. We chatted and laughed and found H some great bargains to take home.

Hubs played hooky on Friday and we took H and the kids down to Casa Loma. They put on a lot of activities for Christmas including a play, a magic show and Santa. This year they were doing a spin on A Christmas Carol so there were some ghostly apparitions throughout the castle as well. It was great.

We had a birthday brunch for Bad yesterday, and our town very conveniently scheduled the Santa Parade for 11:00. We just had some friends and their kids, Hub's mom and sister, and H. Homemade muffins, fruit, coffee, cake....a parade....what else do you need?

Photos of course!

H and Bad at Casa Loma

Seeing Santa at Casa Loma

btw - anyone looking for a good Santa, this one was great. And other than the admission charge, free. You take your own photos. Lots of things for the kiddies to look at while waiting too!

Every Birthday Party should come with a parade


What is she doing? They keep telling me to stay AWAY from fire!


Shovel it in here a little faster Dad!

Oh - and the Princess's best friend A (he's 3 1/2) gave me the best laugh. They were playing so quietly upstairs that I went up to check on them. When I peeked in they were playing dress up, and being good as gold so I turned around and went to go in the washroom.

A: Oh no! You can't go there, that's the train station!

Me: Oh, okay. I'll go downstairs.

A: Good. We're taking a train to Minnesota. (He has an auntie there)

Me: Well that sounds fun.

A: Yeah. We're going to see Neil Diamond!

Winter Wonderland

I wanted to post about the snow this week, but as previously mentioned, our internet was down. When I saw how much trouble Sally had getting off the back deck I decided that I really didn't want to walk the Princess to school, and declared it a Snow Day. Apparently, only 20 kids showed up in the entire school...and if I'd known how ugly we'd all get stuck up in the house together, I'd probably have carried her over on my head!

I know that Hubs comes off badly a lot, (I'm sure if he wrote a blog I would sound worse!) but he's actually an amazing guy. He's never once let me help him shovel snow, for which I am eternally grateful, and it took him over an hour to dig out our cars this week. I don't even know where he keeps the snow shovel. Every morning before he leaves he cleans off my car in case I want to go out. If he's still home when I'm leaving he'll rush out to warm it up. I'm a lucky girl. Thanks Hubs! This was taken from our kitchen door Tuesday morning:

Sally and her path across our deck on Tuesday morning

And thanks again to everybody who posted yesterday. I left a big long response in the comments but I wanted to tell you that you helped. A lot. xoxo

"Colon cancer is a pain in the ass"....

That's what my dad said to me on the phone yesterday. I'm glad that he can still crack a joke, but I'm finding it very hard to laugh. I'm also finding it hard to sleep. It's 3:00 in the morning and my dad starts a new round of aggressive chemo today.

Hubs and I got into an argument when the credit card bill came this week. He didn't understand why I'd spent so much money on photos of the kids when I could have got them cheaper at Wal-mart or Sears.

I yelled back at Hubs, "I needed a really good photo of the kids for my dad, because he will be too sick to see them for the next four months!!"

I was shocked after I said it, I hadn't been consciously aware that I was so stressed out about that. I guess it's easier to worry about the little things than to let your real fears have time in your head. I want to be with my Dad and I can't be. I feel guilty about not doing more to help. My kids are winter germ factories and I'm terrified of making Dad sick. I feel helpless that my mom and dad are planning to spend Christmas alone, because Dad will probably not be up to company. I hate that there is nothing I can do to change that.

I'm angry about my Dad's illness. I'm extremely grateful that there is treatment available, but I'm livid that the treatment is hurting him so much. And that he has been hurting for so long. Why can't someone snap their fingers and make this go away? I want him to get better. Now. I do not feel like a grown-up as I write this - I feel like a little kid whose world has been shattered at the realization that her Daddy is only human. Because he's always been a superhero to me.

I love you Dad. Give us the word and we'll come running. We've got our fingers crossed over here.

Happy Birthday Bad!

Oh bloggy friends! How I've missed you! Kiss! I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!

The Princess decided to 'play' on the computer Monday afternoon, and it has taken me until now to get my internet connection back up. And now I have houseguests and a birthday party to get ready for. Badness is one today! Woohoo! I survived the first year! More on that later, with photos! Hopefully I'll get a chance to post, and to visit you all later this week..... but if not, I'll be back Sunday after everybody leaves.

xoxo, Badness Jones

He's a Breast Man

The Princess weaned herself between 8 and 9 months old. She was just too busy to nurse, and preferred a cup that she could hold by herself. I don't even remember the last time she nursed, I didn't have any engorgement or pain. It was easy and gradual.

The boy is a different story. He adamantly refuses a bottle or cup. I know I'm partly to blame. When he was about 3 months old he was slowly losing weight and we had to have him tested for Cystic Fibrosis and Celiac disease. He has always been a long, thin baby, but at that point you could count his ribs, and his face was gaunt and hollowed. While we waited for the test results we decided to supplement nursing with one bottle of formula a day. The test results all came back negative, and the 3oz of formula at night did the trick, he started gaining again. In hindsight, my mistake was stopping the formula when he started on solids and didn't seem to need it any longer. I did that because I was afraid he'd wean himself early like the Princess did, and as he's my last I wanted to continue on a bit longer. I'm not saying I want to give it up completely now, but I would like him to stop waking up at night to nurse, and it would be convenient to not be his only source of liquid!

I've started leaving him with a babysitter one day a week while the Princess is at school so I can do some work on the phone and computer for Hubs, and actually have a bit of time to myself. From 9:00 to 3:00 he refuses to drink one drop. Bad's a breast man. My other problem is that he's not a very calm nurser. He rarely lies still anymore. I've adjusted to the pinching and grabbing that accompanies all feeds, but lately he's started working on some more athletic moves. This morning I was lying with him in my bed, trying to get him to go down for a nap, and he was wiggling and squirming and trying to stand up. All without letting go of my nipple. It's like he's caught in an internal struggle between wanting me, and wanting to nurse, and wanting to get up and be a big kid and explore the world. I don't want to force his decision, but I don't think I should have to nurse a kid while he's perfecting a downward-facing dog!

When did you all wean? How did you make the decision? How did you make it happen? I have a friend who got so fed up with a two year old who refused to wean that she put Tabasco sauce on her nipples.....he was so shocked and angry he punched her in the eye! She had a shiner for a week! Do I have to just put up with this? I don't mind nursing him longer, but I would like the mother abuse to end. Help me, blogosphere!

And does anyone know why blogger has suddenly decided to double-space my posts? Me no like!

O Christmas Tree!

My sister and her family came up on Saturday, and we all went out to Drysdale's to get our Christmas trees. They bought themselves a lovely big SUV to celebrate the birth of their baby in the spring, and I must say that Hubs and I have found it very useful for buying furniture. Even better, our tree fit in it, so we didn't have to move any child seats and now they can spend the next four months vaccuuming needles instead of us! (Hi, and thanks again guys, you lurkers!)

Hubs protests more every year. He feels that the number of ornaments we have is getting out of hand. I used to do a more restrained, 'designer' tree - but as a child I loved the colour and tackiness of it all, and since the Princess was born I've let the decorating take on a more and more 'Who-ville' type vibe.

There's the tree topper I coveted through

October, November and December one year,

and finally purchased for 75% off in February.

Disco balls, and colourful flocked baubles from Ikea.

There are also many special ornaments Hubs and I bought on our travels before we had children. Even more precious because we haven't travelled much since the kids were born!

Including a blown glass coke bottle from Las Vegas,

a reggae angel from Bahamas,

this gnome from Montreal,

and a fisherman from our honeymoon in PEI.

We always give the princess an ornament on the day we get the tree, and have started to do the same for Bad. This year, she knew what to anticipate, and was so excited to pull all her ornaments from the box, and delighted to open her new one.

This is the special ornament from the Princess's first Christmas.

There's Humpty-Dumpty, that I bought at Harrod's

and gave her when she was two.

and this year, another frog prince.

This is what we gave the Boy last year, when he was 4 days old,

and this year.


Waiting for the tree to defrost was terrible, so we baked some cookie ornaments
to make the house smell spicy and sweet.

There are decorations the Princess has made, and I'm looking forward to adding some by Bad.

there are ornaments from my childhood,

and from Hub's....

We couldn't forget the candy-cane!

And what do you get when you pile it all up on the most beautiful tree in the forest?

The story of a life and a love and a family.
Memories for my children to make and to keep.