badness jones

Jen's Holiday House Tour

2010-12-16T14:33:00.006-05:00

Hi everyone! Welcome to the Great White North stop on the Holiday Homes Tour!!! Nothing really decorates a house for Christmas like the 107 cm of snow we got last week. And it's still snowing.....can I just say here how much more I like snow when someone else shovels it?

I revamped my outdoor decorations a bit this year, go see how they used to look....I'll wait. Santa tied that beautiful ribbon on the kids' Christmas gifts last year, and I got the red polka-dot
balls at Ikea in January, 50 cents for 4!

Bad and I tracked through the woods with some friends to snip some dogwood and evergreen branches to fill up our planters, and I love love love them.

The decorations in the house are much the same as always, but the girlie and I have been making these Polish star ornaments like mad. We've made white, blue, purple, orange, green, red, and yellow. We saw some on Etsy and I loved them, but they were $20 dollars and I'm cheap, so I just googled for directions, and other than being a bit time-consuming, they really aren't that difficult to make.

And that's the tour....I can't show you anymore because I haven't washed the dishes or made the beds!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Comeback of the Day

2010-06-22T08:54:00.001-04:00

Me to Hubs: "The difference is that the arts and crafts rarely step in dog poop."

Can you guess what we were arguing about?

Damage Control

2010-05-18T21:11:00.003-04:00

Dear Princess,

It's about time your mother did something about her housekeeping, though it is a pity she had to choose today to start. But nevermind darling, us tooth fairies have a special magic spell to help us find missing teeth, so there's no harm done. And actually darling, after going through the dishwasher, your little tooth is the very cleanest one in my whole collection!

Don't be too hard on your mommy Princess, she just made a mistake, and your tears just about broke her heart tonight. She loves you more than the moon and stars and sun, but she's only a human....not everyone gets to be a magic fairy.

Love the Tooth Fairy

I think we can skip the soap this time....

2010-04-16T08:27:00.002-04:00

Princess: "MOMMY! MOMMY! Bad said the 'S' word!"

Me: "Really?....what's the 'S' word?"

Princess (leaning in to whisper in my ear): "Stupid!"

Me: "Bad - did you say 'stupid'?"

Bad: "Yes."

Me: "Did you call your sister 'stupid'?"

Bad: "No."

Me: "Then what did you call stupid?"

Bad: "Ken's shirt."

Me: "Okay....Princess, you're right - stupid isn't a nice word and we should try not to use it. However, Ken's shirt IS stupid, so let's just let it slide this time, alright?"

Happy Neck

2010-01-27T06:26:00.002-05:00

This post could also be titled, "When trying to take photos of yourself, you should try putting on make-up and brushing your hair. And learn how to use the timer on your camera. And possibly Photoshop...." But nevermind. That's not the point. The point is that I won a lovely handknit scarf from Jen on the Edge in her blogoversary contest, and it came in the mail yesterday.

It's soft and warm and lovely, and detracts attention from the fact that I haven't put on make-up or brushed my hair. What more could you ask from an accessory?

Thanks Jen, I love it.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-27T09:39:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday. We're still in lounging around in pyjamas mode, the kids playing with their toys while I try to coax a cappuccino out of mine. It was a zoo here for a couple of days, but a wonderful one, and Hubs cleaned the house yesterday while I lounged on the sofa watching 'Up' with the kids. What more could I ask for?

I love kiddos in matching jammies.

The presents were a success. Hubs built the train table and he did such a good job, I was afraid to paint it...but I think it turned out pretty well in the end.

The kids and I made a buche de noel with meringue mushrooms for Christmas dessert. I made one last year, but I didn't know what a jelly-roll pan was, so I guessed....and I guessed wrong. This year's attempt was much more successful.

I'm looking forward to a few more days of family fun, the Olympic Torch is passing near us on Tuesday, so we're going to go see that, and if the weather co-operates we'll do some tobogganing and skating. Other than that we've no plans beyond hanging out by the fire.

Happy New Year!

Cookies for Santa

2009-12-23T01:16:00.006-05:00

Okay, I know it's a little late in the game to be suggesting a craft project, but this turned out so well that I just had to share it. I had all the supplies I needed when the inspiration struck me, but even if you have to go out and buy the glass plate, it's an easy project and your kids will love it. You'll love it. Santa will love it.

Supplies - clear glass plate
- acrylic paint
- acrylic gloss medium (this is your glue and sealer, any art store should stock it, though you could probably thin out some white school glue and use that....try 3 parts glue to 1 part water...both will go on cloudy but dry clear.)
- colourful pages ripped from old magazines

Step 1 - cut out your letters and any other decorations from your old magazines. (Most other paper will be too thick.) We made a simple tree, and used a single-hole punch to make perfect circles for the ornaments.

Step 2 - paint the underside of your plate with the gloss medium, and stick on your letters and decorations, so the good side is in the glue. Remember that your writing needs to go backward, so that it will be in the right spot when you flip the plate over. Brush more gloss medium over the back of your letters and decorations.

Step 3 - let it dry

Step 4 - paint the underside of your plate with acrylic paint in the colour of your choice. Go right over your letters and decorations.

Step 5 - let it dry

Step 6 - repeat steps 4 and 5

Step 7 - add a few coats of gloss medium to seal, and you're done! Because all the paint is on the underside of your plate, this is totally foodsafe. It is not, however, waterproof. So wash carefully, the bottom won't take more than a gentle wipe with a damp cloth.

The gloss medium and acrylic paint both dry pretty quickly, so you can complete this in an afternoon. Just let it dry well overnight before setting it down right-side up.

I hope Santa's good to everyone....Merry Christmas!!!

xo Badness

'Tis the Season....

2009-12-18T06:34:00.000-05:00

...for the HO-HO-HOUSE TOUR!!!

...to send happy wishes to friends. Thanks Jen, for sending a card that co-ordinates so well with our silver tinsel trees! I love it when a plan comes together.

....to count down the days with anxiety, or impatient glee. Depending of course, on which side of the generation gap you fall.

....for sweet little elves to march in parades.

....and whisper secrets to Santa.

....for sugarplum fairies to welcome you in. I'm loving this addition to my favourite wreath. Genius? Why yes I am!

....to cut down big-ass lopsided trees and dress them up like a drag queen.

...for new stockings, hung by the fire. And just so you know, I'm much better with puffy fabric glitter than I am with MS Paint!

...for jolly old elves. My dad made this one for me for Christmas last year, and from now 'til forever it will be my favourite ornament. You know you love it too.

for pinecones and disco balls and candy-canes.

I love me some disco glitter. What do you want? I was born in 1975....

...for secret workshop projects. Bad asked Santa for a train table for Christmas, but Hubs and I had a few reservations. They're generally ridiculously priced and only sturdy enough to withstand average children. While we will encourage Bad not to jump and dance on it, we do try to live in the real world. Also, we were worried about Santa getting it stuck in the chimney. So Hubs built a tank of a table, and I painstakingly painted the storybook topography that no one will ever see under all the trains. Then I rearranged all the furniture in the living room so there will be somewhere to put this on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope that wherever you are, it's filled with Christmas cheer. Here's last year's post if you want still more...and don't forget to check out all the other stops on this year's tour.

Family Portrait

2009-12-17T20:50:00.005-05:00

The Scene: Bad, muttering to himself, while drawing intently at the kitchen table. Me, face in the neck of my shirt, trying not to laugh out loud.

"Hmm...there's Grandma...what does she need? Yes! Hair! (ed. note - in real life the rest of us have hair too.) Hmm...there's Sally (ed. note - that's our dog) what does she need? Booger holes! Yes! Sally always needs booger holes!"

Booger holes indeed. We've all got them, we all need them. And I think it's a pretty good drawing from a boy who only just turned 3. Biased? You bet.

Captain Nudie-butt

2009-12-13T13:49:00.000-05:00

That's what the Princess has started calling Bad - and she's chasing him around the house trying to dress him by force. I'm afraid to intervene.

Ring Ring!

2009-11-23T17:14:00.002-05:00

Phonecall 1

Hubs: Hello?

Me: I can't find the ground turkey! I think I'm losing my mind!

Hubs: What? (At least he didn't need to ask who was calling)

Me: I thought I took it out of the fridge, but I can't find it!

Hubs: Did you look IN the fridge?

Me: Yes!

Hubs: There's a lot of crap in there....did you look behind the crap?

Me: Yes! I took almost everything out!

Hubs: Did you look in the freezer?

Me: Yes! I thought maybe you put it there...

Hubs: Did you maybe put it in a cupboard or something, when you were looking for something else?

Me: I've looked in all of them! It's not there! It's not on the counter or the table, or in your office....it's disappeared!

Hubs: Well, there's not much I can do from here. We'll find it tomorrow when it starts to stink.

Phonecall 2

Hubs: Hello?

Me: Bad had it. He was taking it for a ride in his dumptruck.

Is it me?

2009-11-19T16:49:00.003-05:00

I just got off the phone with Hubs and he's feeling all pissy because I mentioned that Bad went to the Princess's school wearing her tights under his shorts. I thought it was funny, Hubs patently did not. He intimated that I let the boy get away with murder, and when I didn't respond he came out with the "maybe it's my fault for not being involved enough". Whatever. Bad's 2. He wanted to wear shorts. I wanted him to be warm. I said he could wear tights under his shorts, and although I was joking he thought it was a great idea and put some on. I didn't care - and I needed the laugh. So....am I an overly permissive parent? Scarring the boy's psyche for life? Or, heaven forbid, could I possibly be in the right?

Farewell, sweet smile.

2009-11-13T11:12:00.012-05:00

She's always been self-conscious about the gap in her teeth, but I loved it, and am I ever going to miss my baby's smile.

Then again, this big girl has a pretty cute grin...and I'm really looking forward to getting to know her.

And then light shone down from the heavens and the angels sang....

2009-11-07T07:08:00.006-05:00

So. That last post was a wee bit negative, wasn't it? (Thanks everybody for your supportive and encouraging words!) I wasn't a happy camper, and I let that mood follow me around for a long time. This week, however, I had an allelujah moment. Bad's been on the waiting list for a speech assessment since his 2nd birthday (11 months ago!) and on Monday the clinic called me. They'd had a cancellation for Thursday, and did we want the appointment? YES we did. On Thursday morning I used all my evil mommy powers to trick Bad into wearing matching, season appropriate clothing. (Gotta make a good impression!) We dropped the Princess off at school and headed off to the speech 'doctor'. (Boy loves doctors, go figure.) While we were sitting in their toy-filled wonderland of a waiting room, I spied the following title on their bookshelves:

The title caught my eye, because when I try to explain Bad to people, I always say "his spirit is just too big for his little body to control." And the subtitle on the book? A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic - MORE. That's what Bad is! He's MORE. I plucked it down and started reading, and wow. I managed to read the introduction, and skim through some of the chapters before being called into our appointment, and just that little bit has helped me reframe his behaviour and deal with him more effectively. I am going out to buy a copy today.

And his appointment? He's got a lateral lisp and some articulation issues, but he scored in the 98th percentile for his language skills. The speech pathologist couldn't believe how well he did (the test she used is for 3-6 year olds). He's going to start articulation therapy next week, and as were leaving she said, "Karen (the therapist he'll be working with) is just going to eat him up." I've always known he was awesome, but I'll admit that the preschool incident really shook me up, and having a stranger recognize his charm and potential really helped me shake off the blues. I'm should be back to my regularly scheduled crazy in no time.

Ugh.

2009-10-01T13:51:00.005-04:00

On Tuesday I posted "Happy happy me!" on my Facebook page. I hate to follow that up with "I'm not getting back out of bed until July" so I guess I'll bitch and moan here instead. Bad got kicked out of nursery school. I'm miserable.

Here's the thing. The nursery school is wonderful. It's right across the street, and it's owned and run by a couple that are (were?) our friends. They had a baby at the end of August and we were thrilled for them. They'd hired a wonderful teacher to cover the maternity leave, but because they live above the school we knew they'd be around a lot, and it really put our minds at ease.

We're idiots that way.

Bad's first day was great. They were amazed at his colouring - hey, I'm his mom, he comes by his talent naturally! Ha! They were all, "He did GREAT! We have no worries about him." But then it started to go downhill. He started crying for me, and they had a hard time engaging him. The thing was, as soon as I picked him up he was cheerful, and he'd talk happily about school and his friends. When the Princess was having a hard time at her first daycare, that distress carried over into her behaviour and disposition in the evenings and weekends. With Bad there was none of that, I wasn't really worried about him, because when he was with me he was his usual happy self.

Then one day they called me to pick him up. At 10:00. After barely 45 minutes of school. We brainstormed ideas. (Well, I brainstormed ideas and typed them up into a very polite letter.) We switched him from full days to half days to help him transition. And then. Yesterday. I dropped Bad off in his class and as I was leaving, one of the couple, let's call him Dick, pulled me into the kitchen and said, and I quote, "This is it. If he doesn't snap out of this after Friday that's it. We can not tolerate him any more." Excuse me?

You can't tolerate my child? I'm not saying he's perfect - his nickname isn't Bad for no reason....he's stubborn and willful and wild, but he's also smart and funny and talented and affectionate and wonderful. And it's not like he was hitting or biting the other children - he was crying for his mommy. He's TWO.

So. I've been crying for 36 hours. I'm angry and sad and my feelings are hurt. I'm defensive and confused. And really? There's nothing I can do. I can't rant and rave at these people, they live right across the street and I have to pass their house twice a day taking the Princess to school. Unless I take a ridiculously long detour, I pass their house going to the grocery store, the coffee shop, and the post office. Plus - I like them. I get that they're tired and sleep-deprived with a newborn, and I'm sure I'd get sick of listening to someone's child cry all day too - but here's the thing. I don't run a NURSERY SCHOOL. I don't get paid to do that. They do.

And make no mistake. They are the ones that failed Bad - not the other way around. And they are the ones that will ultimately lose out. But in the meantime? This is crappy, and I kind of hope their baby is colicky and cries for the next 3 months straight.

Underwear.

2009-09-09T13:58:00.000-04:00

He's not completely there, but wow does he want to be.

Will the Bathroom Humour never end?

2009-08-13T06:31:00.004-04:00

Gah! It's been 2 months since I've posted. Life has been crazy, happy, sad, full. I don't know if I'll ever catch up, but if anyone is still interested in our adventures, my 2-year old has an imaginary friend named POOP. Fifty times a day I have to listen to a story that begins, "My best friend POOP...." and ends with him slapping his forehead with the heel of his hand and laughing like he's just told the best joke EVER. Hubs laughs right along, but then he's still telling the same jokes and using the same lines as when we met 12 years ago. I'm doomed.

Garbage Picker

2009-06-17T06:01:00.004-04:00

Our municipality is having a 'large item pick-up' this week, and in preparation every third house has placed piles of old appliances, furniture, etc., by their curb. I know that we live in an age of consumerism, that we're excited by the new and the shiny, but I am appalled to see what people are just throwing out. If I were having a baby, I could easily have outfitted myself with a stroller, high chair, crib, change table, bouncy seats and ride-on toys yesterday. All in good condition, and barely needing a wipe down. If I were furnishing a house I could have picked up antique wood dressers, sofas, chairs, tables....obviously some were things were junk, but a lot of it just needed a lick of paint or a steam-clean. I thought we were having a recession, people?

I drove past all of these things, and then I saw a flash of pink metal. A bike. The girlie needs a new bike. I stopped and got out. The bike was too small, but right beside it there was a wagon. We've almost completely abandoned the stroller, but we've thought that a wagon would be great on day trips to the zoo and such; I just haven't wanted to spend the money. The wagon was in great shape except for one broken wheel. But it was a Little Tikes, and their phone number was right there! Surely I could just order a new one. I stuffed the wagon in my trunk, and took off home, eager to consult the oracle Google.

Let's just say this. Little Tikes can bite me. I won't be purchasing any more of their products if I can help it. They do have a parts department, but it's a joke. They don't want you to fix their products...they want you to dump the massive plastic carcasses in a landfill and buy a new one. I was so disappointed, but Bad was convinced that even if Mommy had failed him, Daddy could fix it. Daddy can fix anything. I told Hubs all about my experiences with the Little Tikes website and "help" line over dinner. "There were a couple other wagons around with missing parts, but they weren't the same kind....I can't believe that you can't even order a wheel from these people!" I lamented.

"Go get the other wagons. The kids and I will meet you in the backyard."

So I went back out garbage picking and my resourceful husband built us a Frankenstein wagon with a Little Tikes body and Step 2 front wheels. I hosed it off and gave it a quick scrub and the kids hauled it to the front for a test drive. It works great, and as Hubs and I sat on the front steps watching our little ones running and laughing, giving each other rides up and down the street, I counted another one of my blessings. I have a talented husband who can fix anything, and he loves me for being a cheap-ass garbage picker. Does it get any better than that?

I'm in love with my boy....

2009-05-28T14:37:00.003-04:00

How could I not be? Here are just a few of the giggles he's given me this week.

*****

Bad: "GRRrrrrr....GRRrrrrr"
Me: "What's wrong baby?"
Bad: "My superpowers make me mad!"

*****

Bad (picking up a naked doll and dancing her across the windowsill) "Oh hi Barbie! I have boobies too!"

*****

At breakfast the other day, after being admonished to not call everyone 'poopy-heads'

Bad: Poop on potty, Mommy.
Me: That's right.
Bad: And poop on toilet. Never poop on girls.

I think that's advice everyone should live by.

More Happy

2009-05-22T05:53:00.006-04:00

It's been such a busy week that I'm almost glad it's over. It was pretty wonderful though. Ballet is finished for the year, and the Princess' recital was very sweet. My MIL came with us, and spent the night, and I managed to make homemade pizza and cupcakes for dinner since her birthday was the next day. (I also had to change sheets, wash the floor, and pick up wine - she doesn't drink, but Hubs and I find her hard to take without alcohol.)

Also the next day was the Princess' class trip to Puck's Farm. I dropped Bad off for an extra day at the sitter so that I could go along. Farms aren't really my thing, (My dad constantly shakes his head at my squeamish, girlie ways. "I can't believe you grew up on a farm!" he moans) but I'm glad I went.

The Princess rides a pony!

The farm I grew up on didn't have kiddie rides!

The Princess milks a cow! Guess which mommy DIDN'T want a turn. After years of nursing I just felt too much empathy for poor Bessie.

The best bit was that the Princess wanted me with her. She walked beside me and held my hand. She made sure to sit with me for lunch. Some of the other kids were already acting 'too cool' to hang out with their mothers. I'm so glad I made the effort to go on a trip while she still loves me best.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

Sometimes the world sucks.

2009-05-19T10:40:00.002-04:00

One day a week I send Bad to a babysitter and I run some errands and do a little filing for Hubs' company. I also make his collections calls. I hate it. I'm pretty friendly and laid back about it (which no doubt makes me less effective) but despite that, today I made a grown man cry. The economy sucks, and a lot of Hubs' customers have been especially hard hit. This was a good guy who wants to pay his bills on time, but he can't pay his bills until he has been paid; and everyone seems to be sitting on their money. It's a vicious merry-go-round and I want to get off it.

Birthday

2009-05-08T17:45:00.002-04:00

Just when I thought I wasn't going to get any presents, I opened the front door to find a double rainbow.

And it doesn't really matter that my camera isn't up to the task of recording it; because this moment will be forever etched in my memory.

They're too smart for my own good...

2009-05-01T07:41:00.004-04:00

Hubs was in Buffalo last night, leaving me to fend for the kiddos alone. After a supremely nutritious dinner of no-name mac & cheese and easter chocolate I took them upstairs for an abbreviated bath. (It was supposed to be a loooonnng bath, during which I would flit in and out of the room while simultaneously cleaning up and doing laundry, but they splashed half the water out of the tub onto the floor and I had a temper tantrum.)

I had heaved Bad's futon mattress down the stairs and set up a big bed in front of the telly so that we could have a cuddly sleepover downstairs, but my monsters were more inclined to use it as a landing pad, jumping repeatedly off the sofa. After admonishing them repeatedly to "just lie down already!" I threatened to make them sleep upstairs in my bed.

"NO MOMMY! NO! We want to have a sleepover!"

"But nobody is being good!" They both immediately fell into bed beside me, and Bad climbed on my chest, looked into my eyes and said, both earnest and straight-faced, "Yes Mommy! YOU is bein' good."

From there the night dissolved into laughter, and tickles, and cuddles, and sleep.

E-mail from my MIL

2009-04-26T06:41:00.003-04:00

and I quote:

Sarah, According to today's Toronto Star, women, who have morning sickness during pregnancy have children with higher I.Q Thought you might just want to know that it was worth barfing for. Love Judy

How exactly am I meant to respond?

@$*&%# Murphy!!!!

2009-04-06T11:07:00.005-04:00

I had the snow tires taken off my car this week, and yesterday Hubs and I spent a couple of happy hours raking the yard and hauling lawn furniture out of the shed while the kids ran around us, joyously reunited with their bikes and swings.

So you can imagine the string of swear words with which I greeted the day upon peering out the window this morning to see this:

I wonder if I could convince my health insurance to pay for a week in Mexico....I've got a severe case of latitude disease.

April Funnies

2009-04-01T09:01:00.003-04:00

In the interests of not posting anything that could lead to my children not speaking to me in later life, I can't tell you the whole story. I hope, however, that you'll be able to infer most of it from the punchline.

Me: "You have private parts too. Where's your private part?"

Bad: (turning around and grabbing it) "My cute butt!"

Is there anything better for the soul than new shoes and a latte?

2009-03-30T16:27:00.006-04:00

Good-bye, old friends! Shoe heaven awaits.

I've been wearing the same pair of black flats for the last four years. I wasn't sure about them when I first bought them, but they were the most comfortable shoes I'd ever owned. They saw me through months of aching, swollen feet in my last pregnancy, and despite becoming quite decrepid I haven't been able to replace them.

Until today. I promised the kids a trip to Starbucks after swimming, and on the way we popped into Winners to pick up a birthday present. (E - I hope that A wants a giant blow-up whale for his birthday, because that's what the Princess INSISTED we buy him.)

And there they were. Just waiting for me to take them home and love them.

Hello my darlings, I think we're going to be very happy together.

Die Happy.

2009-03-20T09:01:00.005-04:00

The kids and I met our favourite friends to go sugar-shacking yesterday. We ran around in the woods, went on a horse-drawn wagon ride, warmed ourselves by an outdoor fire, ate pancakes and syrup and even learned something new. (Did you know that the native Americans collected sap in a hollowed out log, and dropped red hot rocks in it until it evaporated into syrup?) We caught up with people we love, ate maple syrup lollipops, and bought maple butter. We couldn't buy syrup because Hubs and I have strong syrup prejudices. We'll get there soon.

So, the question this morning was what to have for breakfast.

The answer?

Maple Biscuits. Die happy.

3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1 T baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup chilled unsalted butter (but I regularly use salted, because I regularly have it)
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
1-2 T maple syrup

Preheat oven to 375F. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a big bowl, and then cut in the butter. Add the milk and vanilla and mix just until coming together. Turn out onto a floured surface and roll out to a 1/2 inch thickness. Fold in half, then roll it out to a 1/2 inch thickness again. Fold in half, then roll to 3/4 inch thick and cut into desired shapes. (I just use a small juice glass to make rounds) Place on your baking sheet and brush the tops lightly with maple syrup. Bake 15-18 minutes until lightly browned.

Cool just enough to handle, and serve with maple butter. Bask in the grateful praise of your family.

Who says romance is dead?

2009-03-11T15:08:00.002-04:00

Hubs came downstairs in his robe at 8:05 this morning and swore as we heard the garbage truck trundle past the house.

Him: "Oh Fack. I forgot to take the garbage out."

Me (with a world-weary sigh): "Don't worry. I did it."

Him: "I don't care what they say about you. You're alright." And he kissed my head.

Who needs roses when you've got devotion like that?

It's a bird....it's a plane...

2009-03-06T20:08:00.003-05:00

We made superhero masks after dinner tonight.

Bad is cute, but when I saw the eyebrows the Princess added to hers I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

It's Super-Groucho-Girl to the rescue!

How much is that doggie in the window?

2009-03-04T13:05:00.000-05:00

Do any of you want a dog? Cheap? She's a gentle 8 year old black lab-Shepherd cross with selective listening. She's a maniac, but she's good with kids. Look, I'll pay you to take her.

OK, not really, but I was seriously thinking about it after our drive home from the city on Sunday. The kids were in the backseat, and Sally was behind them in the back. (It's a hatchback, so it's not a trunk...what do you call it?) I stick a laundry basket between the seat back and the roof, so that the dog stays put, which had always worked, but as we went over the rumble strips on the ramp from the 401 onto the 400, (one big highway to another) the dog went berserk. I'm assuming that the noisy grooved pavement is there to wake up sleepy truckers and keep them on the road, but I hate it. Anyway, the dog got scared and went insane and overturned the laws of physics to squeeze herself through a space she certainly didn't fit. She howled and squealed and got stuck halfway through, waking up the Princess when her nails got stuck in my baby girl's hat. Thank God she was wearing that toque, because without it she would have been scalped. So there I was, alone in the car with the kids, on the ramp between two major highways with no where to pull over, a psycho dog on top of my daughter's head, and nothing I could do about it.

By the time I got to the next exit, the dog was sitting happily on the Princess' lap. The Princess was still sobbing loudly, not surprising really, considering the way she'd been woken up and the fact that Sally outweighs her by half, but I was afraid to open the car door on the side of the highway in case the dog bolted and I couldn't hold her. I was mad as hell, but I didn't want to watch her get flattened by a car.

I cooed to the Princess and drove as quickly as I could to the first parking lot I found, which was thankfully attached to a Timmy's, and struggled to lift 80 lbs of madly squirming dog back in the trunk. (Wishing it WAS a trunk!) I tied her leash to the anchor strap of Bad's car seat, giving her no room to maneuver back over the seats (or more than 3 inches in any direction), cuddled the Princess until she was calm, and went through the drive-thru for much needed coffee (for me) and tim-bits (for the Princess). With his usual aplomb, Bad slept through the whole thing. Then I went home and googled kennels, because there is no way I am taking the dog with us on a car trip ever again.

Free advice? If your kids want a pet, spring for a goldfish.

That Mean Old Fairy Came Back....

2009-02-27T10:54:00.003-05:00

See those two teeth? I remember the day they came, Easter Monday, 2004. I bemoaned the loss of my baby's gummy grins, but I loved them. I must've taken 50 photos, trying to get a picture of these first beautiful pearly-whites. They're both with the tooth fairy now, in baby-tooth heaven; and my baby's smile is very different than it was here, but it still captures my heart.

How to catch a thief...

2009-02-19T18:34:00.005-05:00

The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight....time to set out some traps.

I don't really mind her taking the tooth, but couldn't she leave me my baby?

Pull those heartstrings, boy-child

2009-02-17T12:49:00.004-05:00

Bad dumped all the baskets of toys into one big pile this morning. I heard the noise and came stomping into the living-room with the LOOK on my face. But before I could even open my mouth to begin a rant or lecture, he looked up at me with a cheeky grin (MY grin) and said:

"Sell me gypsies?"

What could I do but scoop him up and cover his whole body with tickles and kisses?

You're yummy, bad boy.

I love and covet

2009-02-13T07:13:00.009-05:00

these. But we are trying to avoid frivolous purchases, at least until the spring, so I can't have them. I'm showing you the link just in case some of you aren't quite as constrained by greedy governments demanding INCOME TAXES shortly. If I can't have them, someone I love should. (and Jen - don't you think these have Ellie's name written all over them?!)

Cupid made me do it....

2009-02-11T12:04:00.010-05:00

All week I've been seeing darling Valentine's crafts all over the internet, and I've mocked them to myself, because it was that or feel guilty about not doing anything with the Princess beyond the requisite class cards. Then, this morning, Cupid hit me with an arrow right in the middle of my jaded black heart. There's no other explanation.

It started when the Princess was playing with a set of paper dolls that some eejit (that would be me) bought her for Christmas. It came with all sorts of supplies for designing your own paper doll clothes, including a set of textured pieces of cardboard. It was these that the Princess came running over with, forcing me to abandon my coffee to peel a crayon, and show her how to do a rubbing over the textures. As she struggled to roll the crayon without crumpling or moving the paper, I decided that a better tool was needed. And that's when my heart gagged and bound my brain.

I got out our enormous box of crayons and while the Princess fished out all the broken specimens, I peeled them. Breaking all my fingernails in the process, I might add. We sorted them by colour into a heart-shaped silicone muffin tin, preheated the oven to 375 F, and picked 3 268 crayon fragments up off the floor. Twice. Thanks Bad.

I boiled the kettle, and made those crayons their very own little bain-marie.

We turned on the oven light to make it easier to peep, and after catching Bad opening the oven for the second time, I took up a guard post in the kitchen. About 20 minutes later we had this:

Pretty!

By the time lunch was finished they were hard again.

I'm such a sucker. But at least they'll be easier to clean up this way.

Oh! And yeah, they work great for the rubbings!

The Prodigal Chair returns!

2009-02-06T09:41:00.004-05:00

Remember this? The world's ugliest chair?

It didn't make it home for Christmas, but better late than never. Now if we can just get rid of that carpet.....

The Longest Month

2009-02-05T09:44:00.009-05:00

February may technically be the shortest month, but it's so spectacularly crap-tastic that the misery it inflicts on me makes it drag on forever. The days are cold and grey and ugly, and while they linger, so am I.

I've been trying to pull myself out of this funk, to make myself write to you about good things, but really I only want to complain. I want to complain to you that my husband refuses to fold towels the way I've shown him. Complain that no amount of expensive cream or Vaseline will stop my hands and heels from cracking. Complain that I've been putting on weight since Bad was weaned and I don't know how to make it stop.

I'd pushed all these half-written raving blog posts out of my head and started to list my blessings; but then, this morning, the unthinkable happened. We ran out of jam.

Now, I've never been big on jam before; but this summer, on the most beautiful June day, we took the kids to pick strawberries. We bounced along on the wagon ride out to the field, and the berries were tiny and firm, jewel-bright and bursting with forgotten strawberry flavour. Within minutes we'd picked 10 pounds. And if they'd bothered to weigh Bad along with our containers on our way in and out, they may have charged us for a pound or two more.

Strawberries are disgusting frozen, so 10 pounds of berries meant jam. I googled recipes, and then I googled for help understanding the recipes. And then the kids and I sliced berries and boiled them up with nothing but sugar and fresh lemon juice. We bottled it up, and printed some labels.

Just taking the jar out of the fridge made me smile, and the jam itself was amazing. Every time I spread a little on a fresh muffin or scone it took me back to that day. Like a little bit of sunshine for breakfast. Bad wanted to eat it with a spoon. And now it's all gone and I'm kicking myself for giving any away. I blame February.

Ow! That hurts.

2009-02-01T06:03:00.003-05:00

Bad woke me up at 5:30 this morning with his usual refrain of "UP! UP! (pl) AY!" and the requisite accompaniment arm-yanking. I pulled him down for a cuddle and whispered, " 'morning baby. You're such a big boy now."

"Me two! EEgie (the Princess) 'ree (she's five, but whatever) Momma OLD!"

I don't think he's getting any breakfast.

art lessons

2009-01-29T12:51:00.008-05:00

The Princess loves to draw, to colour, to cut, to glue, to paint. I love all of that too, but because we don't have a studio or even a corner where I can leave a project out indefinitely I don't do it very often. And I hate to be interrupted when I'm painting, which doesn't make for a very good mommy.

Sometimes though, I give in to the constant refrain of "let's do a craft Mommy! Let's make a picture!"; and on Monday I pulled out some old watercolour supplies and taught the Princess how to use them. She blew my mind.

" the sea " watercolour by the Princess, January 2009

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? (Cheap frame from Ikea - fabulous for displaying children's artwork)

Watercolours are the perfect medium for children. The mess is minimal, and they are entranced by the way the paint glides and flows on the paper. Besides, the best results come with loose free strokes, which is natural for them. If you know a child who loves art, this is what you should get them for their next birthday.

A few tips: 1. buy a watercolour block, which is a pad of paper that is glued all around the edges except for a small section where you can slip in a knife and pull each finished painting off once it's dry. This keeps the paper stretched and flat.

2. And real paint. It doesn't have to be expensive, but get a student quality set from an art supply. Pans are better than tubes for little ones.

3. The paper can take a lot of water, have them brush clean water over the entire surface of the paper before starting.

4. The paint will dry lighter, so if they want vivid colour, have them load it on.

5. Give them some salt (I like sea salt best for this, but experiment!) to sprinkle in the wet paint to make a speckled effect.

6. Although some pigments are more permanent than others, sometimes paint can be removed from the paper by wetting and blotting with a tissue or paper towel (Q-tips are good for small areas)

Let me see your kids' best work. I love all of it.

11 minutes

2009-01-28T13:27:00.004-05:00

That's how long the boy was dressed today.

It's snowing and it's cold and I had no compelling reason to leave the house this morning; so we ate breakfast late, and I puttered around for hours while the kids played. I finally hopped into the shower at 12:00, and to be honest, I only did it because I know I have to go out to the Princess' school this evening. As is his custom, Bad came storming into the bathroom the second the water started and stripped off his jammies to join me. (a warning: should you ever want to shower here, you're more than welcome, but don't think you're going to be allowed to do it alone)

He played in the tub while I got dressed and did my hair, then I called the Princess to come get dressed, threw clothes on the boy and made peanut butter sandwiches for their lunch. 2 seconds later Bad was covered in his chocolate milk. I took him upstairs and opened his drawer. I had a pair of jeans in my hand when I thought, it's 'snuggle-up and read' night at school, and all the kids are supposed to come in their pyjamas, so what's the point in dirtying another outfit? I dropped the jeans and grabbed some fleece pyjamas.

You've got to be kidding....

2009-01-22T14:52:00.005-05:00

When I took Bad for his 2 year well-baby check in December, our doctor expressed some mild concern over his speech development and told me that she was going to refer him for a speech assessment. He definitely doesn't talk as much as his sister did at the same age, and he leaves the first syllable off a lot of his words, but I'd never really worried.

Today I got a call telling me that his referral had been received, and an information package had been mailed to me that I was to fill out and send back. "And then," said the chipper voice on the other end of the phone, "as soon as there's an available space, we'll have someone call you with an appointment. The waiting time right now is between 10 and 14 months."

10 and 14 MONTHS? I think Bad will catch up on his own, and I know my doctor likes to take a pro-active, early intervention approach with speech issues, precisely because the wait times are long; but that's just ridiculous. No child should have to wait that long for an assessment, let alone help. Methinks the healthcare system needs yet more tinkering. Preferably by someone not in government.

And it only took me 3 1/2 years!

2009-01-15T10:09:00.005-05:00

I painted the background of this canvas 3 1/2 years ago, but I didn't like the way the subject was progressing, so I propped it on the mantle to ponder. It has sat there and mocked me ever since. Then, just before Christmas, I was doodling and colouring with the Princess and we made a big picture together that I loved. I laid it on top of the canvas and the juxtaposition of the two really struck me. Inspiration! At last! The result (and sorry for the crappy photography, I need a new camera!):

'just the way love grows' - mixed media on canvas

The Forever House

2009-01-14T08:05:00.004-05:00

Hubs and I have a big dream. The forever house. A house that we'd have custom designed and built. My background is in interior design, and Hubs works on the peripheral of the design industry, selling industrial products to kitchen and furniture manufacturers. We know what we want in a house, and now we just need to get there. We love our current home, but she's an aging and demanding mistress; we want a less complicated romance.

Yesterday I was e-mailing with Jen about the building of their dream home, and she was full of amazing resources and advice. Then I went over and read her whole house blog which documents their journey. (The house is almost finished. And. It. Is. Stunning. If I didn't like the girl so much I'd be sick with jealousy.) The chat and the blog brought our house dream back to the forefront of my mind, we know it's at least 5 years away, but that's no reason I can't start planning.

So - without further ado, the first draft of the wish list:

The Forever House of Bad

1. A huge soft deep sofa under huge south-facing windows for afternoon naps.
2. A big mudroom with cubbies and closets for coats and boots - and a spot for washing up grubby pets and children - separated from the rest of the house with a door.
3. Closet organizers in every closet. And there will be many, many, closets.
4. Low maintenance house. Low maintenance finishes inside and out.
5. Efficient and healthy systems - HVAC, windows, appliances
6. A gas stovetop - I'm not going electric for anyone.
7. A master bath where the wc can't be seen from the tub.
8. High ceilings - at least 9', and hopefully something cathedral somewhere.
9. Ergonomic kitchen
10. A pantry and a coldroom
11. Big mainfloor family space - I don't want, ever, to have my children shunted off to the basement (okay, maybe occasionally, but not as a way of life!)
12. Central vac (with a slot under the kitchen base cabinets you can sweep directly into)
13. A room of my own - to paint, to write, to make messy with projects, that I can just shut the door on.

Tell me - what do you love most about your home, why, and what should I add to my list?

Livid

2009-01-10T19:02:00.005-05:00

We don't have a lot of expensive furniture, but we do have a beautiful sofa. We ordered it custom, and the company had never made it as a sectional before, but they did, and it turned out so well that they added it to their regular collection. And they feature it on their website, and in the fabric I chose, no less! This is what my sofa looked like this morning.

And this is what my sofa looked like this afternoon, thanks to Bad and the ballpoint pen he stole off of Hub's desk.

I scrubbed out the pen, but my sofa is now covered in blotchy spots and I'm hoping that a steam cleaning will fix it, but I don't know if it will ever be right again.

I'm way more upset than I probably should be; all my children are healthy, afterall. (Something of a miracle in itself, don't you think?) Please, if anyone knows anything about upholstery cleaning, let me know. I'm going to try to arrange something tomorrow or Monday.

Unbalanced diet

2009-01-09T13:58:00.006-05:00

I hope that the old adage "you are what you eat" won't really hold true, because so far today my 2- year old has eaten:

Breakfast - 3/4 of a can of this (he saw it in the cupboard and refused to entertain the idea of any other meal) , a glass of chocolate milk (but not so very chocolately - after he'd seen me making chocolate milk for the princess' school lunch, you didn't think he'd take his plain, did you?), and a slice of toast with peanut butter.

Lunch - 3 x 100g containers of bio-best yogurt (2 blueberry, 1 raspberry) and 3 slices of toast with peanut butter (And he's standing on his chair shouting "More! More! More!").

Whatever could I make for dinner to round out this wholesome diet day?

I suppose it's to be expected

2009-01-07T07:22:00.004-05:00

Since I weaned him, Bad has been having a lot of temper tantrums. Truly alarming temper tantrums. A LOT of truly alarming temper tantrums. I guess he's realized that he's got a good 14 or 15 years before he can get in any quality boob time again. I think that would hit any man hard.

On the flip side, Hubs is grinning like a teenager who just copped his first feel.

Silver Linings

2009-01-04T08:36:00.004-05:00

I woke up this morning with my nose as stuffed up and useless as if it had been filled with cement. My head was pounding. My tongue was thick with the disgusting film that breathing through your mouth all night brings. I moaned in distress, "I'm sick!" Through my haze of misery I detected a little niggling at the back of my brain. I lay still and let it swim to the front where I could catch it - drugs. Drugs! Glorious drugs! Bad is weaned. For the first time in almost 3 years, I can take a decongestant. I can take painkillers stronger than a regular Tylenol. For the first time in 3 years, and after countless colds and sinus infections suffered in stoic and drug-free silence, I can take medicine! What's more, I can take it without first staging a finger-wagging internal debate. Yay! I'm off to Shoppers now, to lay claim to my own little slice of pharmaceutical heaven.

xo Badness

Kick me when I'm down - the Happy New Year's edition

2009-01-01T09:15:00.007-05:00

We actually had a wonderful New Year's Eve. We threw a mattress on the floor in front of the sofa and loaded it down with blankets and pillows for family movie night. (Complete with popcorn and peanut m&m's!) Only Hubs and the dog made it to the countdown, but the rest of us were confident that the New Year would safely arrive whether we stayed up to welcome it or not.

Yesterday morning held another first, the one that makes me feel a bit battered, because it makes me feel like my baby really is growing up.

What the HELL is she doing to me?

Well....alright....if you want to give me a lolly....

Happy New Year's dudes....you might want to start locking up your daughters.

Endings

2008-12-30T10:38:00.007-05:00

On Saturday afternoon I laid down with Bad and nursed him to sleep. I didn't know it then, but it was the last time I'd ever nurse a baby. One o'clock in the afternoon of Saturday, December the twenty-seventh, 2008.

That evening Bad threw a temper tantrum. A down and out kicking and hitting and crying and screaming temper tantrum. He kicked out and hit my sprained thumb so hard that the pain took my breath away. After I'd calmed down, and calmed him down, I helped him into his pyjamas, brushed his teeth and lay down beside him in his bed. He immediately reached for my shirt.

"I'm sorry buddy, I can hold you, I can kiss you, I can sing to you or rub your back, but I can't nurse you right now." And I couldn't. I just couldn't bear the thought of lifting my shirt up and letting him latch on. Maybe he sympathised with the weary note in my voice, or he may have just been exhausted and cried out, but he let me just hold him and do 'criss-cross' on his back until he fell asleep.

I hadn't intended to never nurse him again, although I've been muttering about weaning for months. He napped in the car on Sunday, and at bedtime I rubbed his back again and told him that my milk was almost gone. If he'd cried I'd have given in, but he didn't. He curled his body into mine and was asleep in minutes.

Yesterday the first wave of sadness came. We spent the day with the dinosaurs at the ROM, so Bad napped in the car again. I thought, for a moment, about nursing him to sleep at night - a last nurse, a chance to say good-bye - but it would've been for me, and made things harder on him.

Ironically, after three days without nursing and barely a whimper, this morning his tears came. I took away a 'toy' that he wanted to play with, (a rail from the back of one of the kitchen chairs) and he wanted to be soothed with a breast. I took him up to nap, but I held my ground. There is still milk there, but it's receding. The fullness is gone. My baby cried and fought and clawed at my chest to get in, and I held him and whispered to him but pushed his hands away until I was crying too. He's sleeping now. He fell asleep in my arms. I shouldn't feel guilty, it's been two years, it's time. I think I made the right decision....didn't I?

Look what I got!!

2008-12-27T07:45:00.003-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas at the House of Bad. The kids were thrilled with all of their presents, and even more thrilled at having a house full of family. I got some wonderful things, but I want to show you my favourites, both of which were courtesy of my Dad this year.

He MADE me this Santa.

And gave me this memory.

Thanks Dad.

The Ho-Ho-House Tour

2008-12-22T07:59:00.006-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Welcome to the House of Bad!

I love this wreath. I've had it for about 6 years, and I just change up the ribbon to suit my mood. I bought some beautiful glass heart ornaments to hang on the porch this year, and once I'd added matching ribbon to everything, they looked made for each other. (I'm not entirely sure the hearts were made for outdoor use, but at least it'll be quick, if they break. Unlike the drawn-out mocking death of the hanging plants I hang there each summer.)

I can't take credit for that most glorious of Christmas decorations - freshly fallen snow. (And to be honest, I hope that it'll all go away come the 26th!)

Hubs gave me the porch swing for my birthday. I'm looking forward to being able to trust Bad not to run into the road, and then I'll be able to sit there with hot chocolate and blankets while I watch my babies play in the snow. (And a little wine in the summer, maybe, whilst they ride their bikes up and down the street?)

I love pulling all the ornaments out of their boxes each year. There are always some that I'd forgotten we had, and it's a wondrous surprise to see them again.

The tree's the thing, here at the House of Bad. Anything and everything goes, as far as ornaments are concerned. Here are some of the things you'll find on our tree (and last year's post, if you want to see close-ups of a few):

Moose in a rowboat (Nfld)
Fisherman (PEI)
Gnome (Montreal)
Santa made from a seashell (Quebec City)
Coke bottle (Las Vegas)
Rastafarian Santa (Bahamas)
Manatee (St. Pete's Beach)
Christmas Palm Tree (Key West)
Nativity in a Poppy seed shell (Budapest)
Nativity in a pottery cup (Mexico)
Humpty-Dumpty (Harrods, London)
Glass grapes (Niagara-on-the-Lake)
Blown glass tree (Bermuda)
Mickey Mouse in a lightbulb (California)
Bobble-head monkey (McDonald's Happy Meal)
Glass pickle
Glass potato
Frog Prince (2 different ones!)
Pig Prince
Ballerina Elephant
Cinderella (not the Walt Disney version)
4 silk Snow White balls (Walt Disney version)
Silk butterfly
Leprechaun
spaceman in a rocket car
Venetian gondola
train
Santa in a firetruck
glass candy canes
collection of mirrored disco balls
glass and feathered birds
Russian wooden dolls
antique glass balls (all colours)
new glass balls (purple and blue)
cheap flocked balls from Ikea (all colours)
crocheted angels and snowflakes my mom made when I was little
a silk 'Ziggy' ball from Hubs' childhood
ceramic snowman my sister painted circa 1980
glass circus lion
glass circus clown
ballet shoes
jewelled high heel shoe
various creations by the Princess (looking forward to some from Bad!)
nutcrackers (various types)
glass icicles
stuffed Donald Duck
glass teddy bear
glass bell
resin teddy bear
Victorian tin tinsel
clear bead garland
my beloved tree topper (coveted for an entire Christmas season and purchased in February at 75% off!)

It all looks fabulous together once it's up! It really is a tree designed for children (of all ages!). We sit around it and play a Christmas version of eye spy, looking for their favourite ornaments. (The stuffed dog is circa 1985 or so, and he only comes out at Christmas. His name is Poinsetter. I didn't make that up. And please ignore the shutters on the windows. They're hideous, but they came with the house, and 4 years later we haven't gotten around to replacing them yet. Or the ugly carpet. What can I say? It's an old house and the list of things we need to replace is almost as long as Santa's naughty list.)

I don't do a lot of seasonal decorating inside the house, apart from the tree, but what would Christmas be without Reindeer Games? These books and toys live with the ornaments for most of the year, so they're a treat for the kids when they come out again each December.

Other than that, the kids have the trees they made at Bad's birthday, and there's a vase full of pinecones in the powder room. (Just before it snowed we were out walking and the Princess asked me why some trees lost their leaves and some were still green. I explained the difference and we picked up some pinecones - a LOT of pinecones. I thought about making something with them, but just the idea of sticking little googly eyes on to hundreds of pinecones to make little hedgehogs had my head about to implode. I threw them in the vase, and they're actually really pretty. My photo didn't turn out.)

You should check out my blog decorations though, I did this last year too, and lame though it may make me, I just can't help but love it.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you have a season full of hugs and giggles and cheer. (And that Santa comes, too!)

xo Badness

Psst! Go see Jen on the Edge for the list of other houses on the tour!

Merry Christmas from the House of Bad

2008-12-21T08:02:00.002-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Santa's a blogger.

2008-12-21T07:04:00.004-05:00

Last night after dinner the Princess and I sent an e-mail to Santa at http://www.santaclaus.ca/, and this morning I found the following in my inbox:

Merry Christmas Princess and Bad and thank you for your email. I hope you are both reading my daily blogs. The toy factory is a buzz of activity. We are busy making Hannah Montana items, lego, and dinosaur toys. These have been some of the most popular items our factory has ever made. The Hannah Montana toys are so much fun to make as the elves love to play with them. Moe Jingle and Jazzy Jingle, two elves from the Dinosaur division, slipped outside the toy factory the other day at lunch time and quietly raced behind the reindeer barn and fed the reindeer too many carrots and lots of hay. I came out to take the reindeer for their daily workout and all they wanted to do was sleep. Moe and Jazzy came out and felt very badly for over feeding the reindeer. They tickled the reindeer hoofs and danced on their backs to awaken them. The reindeer soon started prancing and we were able to go for a nice long flight in the crisp night air. So as you can see, the reindeer are doing better and will be in great shape for Christmas Eve. I always have fun getting ready for Christmas. There is so much going on here that there is no time to worry or get into any mischief. We love this time of year so much. Thanks for leaving some cookies. I told Rudolph that you will be leaving some reindeer food that you made in Kindergarten and his nose lit up really bright. He is already excited to try it. Princess and Bad, I will do my best to make you both happy this Christmas. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.

Love Santa HO! HO! HO!

Maybe not the most masterful turn of phrase, but very nicely personalized, and the Princess was thrilled. And check out www.northpole.com for games and stories too.

The weather outside is frightful....

2008-12-19T15:28:00.005-05:00

(I took this 5 minutes ago, at the kitchen door)

I'm just glad that I don't have anywhere to go; it's a perfect day to stay in and make treaties with my babies. I hope that all of you are somewhere safe and warm. (And that you have chocolate!)

Making my lists...I'll be checking them twice....

2008-12-18T13:30:00.005-05:00

Guests and where they're sleeping.

MIL - 24th (our room or blow up bed - depends how cranky she makes me)
Mom & Dad - 24th & 25th (Princess's room)
L&S + J&W - 25th (L&S, our room, J - blow up bed, W - travel cot)
A&G (+ dog?) not staying over, whew!

(And where will WE be sleeping? Bad has a double bed, plus room for a queen-sized blow up bed, so we'll all be in his room together.)

Christmas baking

Ginger cookies - done
Chocolate chip cookies - done
Sugar cookie stars - done
Irish cream fudge - done
Lemon squares
Chocolate covered pretzels for gifts
PB balls - L bringing.

Christmas Eve Dinner

Tortiere - mom's bringing it, yeah! (Love it, hate making it)
French bread
Caesar salad
Red wine
Cookies

Christmas Breakfast

Ideas? Anyone? Please? There'll be 5 adults + 2 kids too excited to eat anything

Christmas Lunch

Not having one. People can eat cheese and crackers and nuts and cookies and candy from their stockings.

Christmas Dinner

turkey
stuffing
mashed potatoes (+gravy!)
roast carrots and parsnips
brussels sprouts - I don't care if Hubs hates them. He hates green beans and asparagus too, and I don't feel like making broccoli.
sweet potatoes?
squash?
rolls
Buche de Noel + pecan pie + apple pie for dessert
Am I forgetting anything?

Presents

Just need to get a giftcard for J - unless anyone has a good idea for a 16 year old boy? Around 20-30 bucks?
Everyone else - done

Housekeeping

I'm washing all the extra bedding now - it's been sitting in a drawer for 11 months, and smelled like it. Then I just have to:

Clean out the fridge
Dust everything
Clean 3 washrooms
Vacuum
Wash all floors
Clean up toys. And again, again, again, again, again.
De-clutter everywhere
Make a grocery list
Go grocery shopping
Have a raging hissy fit that no one is helping
Do everything on this list again.
And again.
And again.

Random sleepy thoughts...

2008-12-17T10:43:00.004-05:00

This is how they sleep...and last night they made me stay in the middle.....

Bad was talking in his sleep, "bad guy!" over and over and over.... (it wasn't a nightmare, he LIKES bad guys)

We woke up to the Princess singing (over and over and over) "Bells on Bobcats ring!"

"Um, Princess? I think it's bells on BobTAIL ring...Bobtail is the horse's name...do you know what a bobcat is?"

"YES Mummy...it's like a tractor. And I'm making up a NEW song, okay?" (I'm sure you'll have no trouble inserting the attitude inherent in her voice - and once I've figured out what construction vehicles have to do with sleigh rides, I'll pass on the info. I guess this is what comes from letting them watch Bob the Builder Christmas specials?)

The Real Christmas Miracle

2008-12-15T18:12:00.003-05:00

Is that I didn't injure either of my children today. And that I didn't have myself committed.

The end.

Overheard at breakfast...

2008-12-12T07:49:00.001-05:00

The Princess: "Bad, when you go to school you're not allowed to hit, or kick, or push, or punch, or bite, or spit, or step on people, or else you get a time-out. You're going down, buster!"

Riding in cars with children...

2008-12-11T16:43:00.003-05:00

The Princess: "Mo-o-o-mmmy! Why did you have to bring the car to pick me up from school?"

Me: "Because it's really cold, it's minus 12!"

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-o-om! I don't like riding in the car with my whole snowsuit on. I wanted to walk!"

Me: "We have to go pick up your brother from the babysitter, and it's too far for you to walk after school."

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-mmmy! WHY did you have to bring the car? I don't WANT to ride in the car!"

Me: "Because I'm a cruel, evil monster, and because I'm trying to ruin your life."

The Princess (giggling now): "Mom, you're silly!"

Things I never thought I'd say...

2008-12-09T07:30:00.005-05:00

to my children, or anyone!

1. Would you mind NOT putting your feet in my pants, please!

2. Seriously, THIS is how dinosaurs like to eat their bananas.

3. How did you get milk in your belly button?

And it's only 7:30 in the morning. Do you think it's gonna be one of those days?

Ali just made me google something that I never EVER would have guessed I'd google. Go see her to see what it was....

Happy Birthdays

2008-12-06T19:33:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday sweetness. I can't believe you're two.

What did you wish for? I'll try to make all your wishes come true.

While I was baking cupcakes for my boy and thinking about this day, two years ago, when I first held him in my arms, my friend Holly gave birth to her first child. Benjamin. I am thrilled beyond words for her, and I can't wait to meet him. Congratulations honey, and welcome to the world, sweet Benjamin. I hope that life will hold endless happiness and magic for you. Happy Birthday.

My son wants ham.

2008-12-04T07:14:00.002-05:00

author's note: What follows is a very lame anecdote. I offer it only as a way to avoid housework.

I've never given my babies processed lunch meat. There's the salt and nitrate thing, plus the real reason - I don't eat it. I think it's icky. Hubs, on the other hand, is a fan. And he has converted the boy to his carnivorous ways. (Seriously, I've heard him say, nay CHEER, "Yay! Now I have someone to eat meat with!")

I just walked into the kitchen and Bad was sitting at the table, trying to pry open a new package of Black forest Ham.

Me: Sigh. "Before breakfast? REALLY?"

Bad: "Ya!"

I got a plate and gave him two slices.

Bad: (getting up and walking to the cupboard) "No. Blue. Blue."

Me: (transferring his meat to his chosen dish - WHAT I was thinking, giving him the pink plate on the top of the pile) "Oh. Sorry."

Bad: MO(re)! MO(re)!

Me: Sorry buddy. Choose another food group.

Roarrrrrr!!!!!!

2008-11-28T16:04:00.003-05:00

The instructions were for a crocodile cake, but I think he's sufficiently dinosaur-esque for our purposes. There's lots of other fabulous cake ideas there too. And I've learned from my mistakes. He's been carefully covered up and put out of sight until the party tomorrow!

Loot

2008-11-27T14:23:00.007-05:00

Inexplicably, and without my say-so, the town has decided to hold Bad's birthday parade a week early this year so we're having his party a week early too. It's a dinosaur/Christmas theme. Bad has somehow got hold of the idea that rather than turning two, he will become a dinosaur on his birthday, and he roars whenever it's mentioned. I'm going to make a dinosaur cake, Santa is coming for his parade, ergo the weird theme. The parade route passes within 100 metres of our house, so we'll all walk up to the end of the street for the free entertainment (and pick up pizzas at Gigi's) before coming home for lunch.

The kids and I went to countless stores this week looking for something dinosaur themed to make into loot bags. I don't like to spend a lot of money on them, but I don't like sending home bags full of junk that I know will just be discarded either. We came up empty everywhere, and the Princess and I made the executive decision to abandon the dinosaurs, and do Christmas loot bags instead. We were in Zellers, and we saw little 16" high silver tinsel trees for $2 each. (My grandparents had a full-size silver tinsel tree, and I admit to harbouring a secret nostalgic love for them.) We bought 7.

Then we designed a teensy weensy angel topper out of recycled Christmas cards and put together a little kit with the instructions and materials for everyone.

Isn't she purdy?

We got a big box of mini candycanes and divvied them up into little baggies, and to put it all in, I grabbed paper bags from the grocery store and labelled them with all the kids names.

I love how the sparkly tops of the trees look, peeping out of their bags. I can't wait to line them all up on top of the piano.

Today I baked a hundred little tiny star shaped sugar cookie ornaments for the kids to decorate with sprinkles and candy at the party.

Yum! But next time I'm just cutting the strings and letting the kids' parents tie them on. I can't believe my fingers aren't bleeding!

It worked out to about $22 for 7 loot bags (well, 8, because I had to have one for myself!) I think they're cute and fun....I hope the kids do too. What's the best loot your kids have ever given or gotten?

Squee!!!!

2008-11-25T13:32:00.004-05:00

You: Um....Badness? There's nothing 'squee!!!!' about that chair.

Me: I know...it looks hideous, but try to look past the 40 year old orange and green weave upholstery. Look at the teak legs...look at the curve of the back. And trust me...this is the most comfortable chair I have ever been in. I bought it at Goodwill, 1..2..3....7 years ago. For five bucks. We had no money and we needed a chair. I fell in love with the shape of this one, and I knew it had potential. (I didn't know that I'd have to live with that fabric this long!!!) Anyway, the other day Hubs told me that he'd talked to one of his customers about my chair, and they'd offered to re-upholster it cheap! He told me to go buy fabric!!!!! Squee!!!! Imagine how beautiful it's going to look wearing this:

Here's the fabric hanging over the back of my beloved sofa, so you can see how they look together. (And if you're not sure about the pattern I chose, don't worry. I had to stare at it for ages before I could decide if I loved it or thought it was hideous. It's going to be fabulous....it's like one of those dresses that look like nothing on the hanger, but when you put them on? Va-va-va-voom! This is gonna be one sexy chair.

And don't look at the carpet. Hopefully it'll be the next to go!

Snowman of the Day

2008-11-24T14:35:00.002-05:00

The Princess really likes to make snowmen.

Scary - A guest post by Bad

2008-11-21T16:15:00.007-05:00

Hey ladies! Did you read my mom's little post about fear earlier? Isn't she cute? So easily scared.... That wasn't so scary. I'll tell you about scary.

Tomorrow is GG's 86th birthday (that's my great-grandma, she's got 14 great-grandchildren now - I, of course, being the GREATEST - and we all call her GG) We're going to go visit her after lunch tomorrow, and meet my grandma and lots of aunts and cousins there, and my mom offered to make a cake. Normally, she'd be bright enough to tackle something like that after I'd gone to bed, but I got her up at 3:30 this morning, and didn't go back down until 6:00, and then the Princess got up at 6:15. What with that and me sticking a cd case into the new computer (I broke the plastic casing for one of the blank spots between the card reader and the CD drive....she wasn't using that bit anyway)...oh yeah, and the whole stair incident...she decided that she'd better make the cake now, in case she couldn't get up again after I went to bed.

You should've seen it....it was a thing of beauty. Mom put it up on top of the stove and went to the bathroom (that was her first mistake!) I just couldn't resist pulling a chair over to get a better look. I had a taste, and somehow, somehow the cake fell off the cake stand onto the burner and broke in half. Personally, I don't think she had it on there properly.

Anyway, this is the look I gave her when she got back to the kitchen. The look she gave ME was scary. So was the inhuman wail that followed the look.

This is actually me having chocolate pudding last week. Think of it as an artist's rendering of the scene - Like they make in court proceedings where no cameras are allowed.

She ignored me while she phoned my grandma to cry about it, and then she got to work fixing the damage. She only had enough icing to glue it back together and smooth out the top, so she threw some chocolate chips in the food processor, and patted the resulting rubble all over the sides. The best bit? The princess and I got to stand at the sink and eat the leftover chocolate rubble!

I love you, Mommy. The cake isn't as pretty as it was, but I'm still gonna try to get it down from the piano and stick my face in it. Any suggestions, ladies?

Fear

2008-11-21T13:50:00.002-05:00

Ka-thunk! Ka-thunk!
Boy child: "Wah!!!"

Ka-thunk!
Girl child: "No!!"

Ka-thunk!

Instinct has you on your feet and running before your brain has formed the thought....stairs....NO!

Ka-thunk...ka-thunk...ka-thunk!

You see them, somersaulting over each other in a horrible parody of The Three Stooges, except it isn't remotely funny.

Ka-thunk.
Boy child: "Wah!"
Girl child: "Help!"

You're there, but the railing is in your way...they're falling too fast....don't hit the wall, don't hit the wall...

Ka-thunk.

Your girl grabs the railing with one hand and holds her brother, with his head hanging over the bottom stair, inches from the floor, just long enough for you to reach them.

Your boy is crying and you pull him up into your arms, trying to check every inch of him as you reach out a hand for your girl. Your boy is struggling to get out of your arms, you sit down and he picks a book off the floor. Stops crying. Hands it to you. Settles into your lap. Roars. (It's his favourite Dinosaur book)

Despite the fact that your heart is threatening to beat its way right out of your chest you let a tiny laugh escape. You wrap one arm around each child. You read.

The scary part is that there will be a hundred, a thousand, of these moments before they're grown. And then? The fears will be greater, and the hurts less easily soothed.

I'm an ass.

2008-11-20T18:56:00.000-05:00

My husband is wonderful, and I totally underestimated him.

Wish Me Luck!

2008-11-20T07:19:00.003-05:00

I have an appointment with a vascular surgeon this morning, to see if anything can be done to fix the varicose veins in my legs. (Most days I think my children were worth it!) I had an ultrasound done on them in the summer, and the technician sighed and tut-tutted and "I've never seen veins this bad on someone so young!'ed" so much that I left feeling like a hideous, deformed freak of nature and cried the whole way home. The mere thought of the surgery makes me nauseous and faint, but I'd really like to wear shorts again, so lets hope they can fix me. Fingers crossed!

Update: I didn't get quite the answer I wanted. They can fix my legs, but it's gonna cost me. A lot. More than Hubs is gonna be willing to pay. I was going to crawl back in bed to cry and feel sorry for myself, but I decided to pick Bad up from the babysitter early so that I can crawl back into HIS bed, and hold him while HE naps, and count my blessings instead.

Blown.

2008-11-18T14:15:00.005-05:00

We took the kids to the Santa Claus Parade on Sunday. It was fabulous, but the Princess and I were both disappointed by the absence of the upside-down clowns. (You're all welcome to mock my uncool snowsuit and hat, but I refused to be cold. And you need more layers than you'd think to sit on the sidewalk in comfort for 3+ hours!)

Anyway, I meant to post after the kids went to bed on Sunday night, but I laid down with Bad and when I got up again, it was Monday. So no mo Nablopomo fo me.

It's kind of a relief, what with trying to dig myself out from under the alarming mountain of laundry we generated this weekend....four snowsuits and two sleeping bags from the parade, plus the usual mess generated by a weekend here at the House of Bad. The last load is in the dryer now, and then I can move on to the rest of the cleaning. No rest for the wicked!

My own Christmas Elf

2008-11-17T14:46:00.001-05:00

Too bad he's not baking cookies with that spoon - he just spanked me in the bum - OUCH!!

Fight

2008-11-15T06:57:00.003-05:00

Yesterday. 4:40pm. The phone rings.

Me: Hello?

Hubs: Hi babe.

Me: Hey. What's up?

Hubs: A is dropping in for a visit. (A is an old friend of Hubs. In my head I think of him as Great Big Scary Bearded Bi-Polar Man. Thankfully we don't see him a lot, and even less lately, because although he is Jewish he has also recently become a born-again Christian and has been spending a lot of time in Africa.)

Me: What? When?

Hubs: Well he's in Barrie, so in about half an hour.

Me: @#$%! I mean, what? The house is disgusting...I've been out all day, I haven't even swept the floors or cleaned up the toys! Is he coming for dinner?

Hubs: We haven't worked out the details.

Me: Well, are you going to be home before he gets here?

Hubs: No....

Me: Well, what am I supposed to do with him until you get home?

Hubs: You can just let him play with the kids!

Me: Right. Because the kids are likely to take to a Great Big Scary Bearded Bi-polar Man they've seen once in their lives STRAIGHT AWAY.

Hubs: Don't worry so much. Hold on. Just let me finish what I'm doing here and I'll call you back. Click.

For the next ten minutes I rushed around the house, sweeping, putting things away, making beds, looking frantically in empty cupboards for food....I decided to order pizza, yelled at the kids to clean up their toys, and put on clean clothes....and then the phone rang again.

Hubs: I'm meeting A down here instead.

Me: What! But I've just been rushing around trying to clean up and find something to feed him! And you didn't make it home for supper last night, and you're spending all day tomorrow at rugby! What about the kids?

Hubs: Well you didn't want him to come! YOu can't have it both ways you know!

Me: Great! Have a FABULOUS time! Click.

I fed the kids Kraft Dinner, because I didn't feel like cooking or eating. I gave them a bath, and wrestled them into their jammies, and put them both to bed in Bad's room. I laid down between them and read a dozen stories. Once they were asleep I got up, brushed my teeth, put on jammies....and crawled back between them. Their sighs and snores and warm little bodies made me feel a lot less lonely.

I'm rather dreading Hubs getting up.

Bootcamp, Shmootcamp

2008-11-14T13:26:00.004-05:00

You want a real work-out? Spend the morning running errands with a toddler. Specifically, with Bad. I'm EXHAUSTED. And the grande non-fat latte and 1/2 slice of reduced-fat chocolate-chip banana cake isn't really cutting it as lunch. I wonder if Hubs ate all the leftover chicken?

"You're making what?"

2008-11-13T06:53:00.006-05:00

That's what I said to my mom last year when she brought out all the ingredients she'd bought to make meatballs at the Princess's birthday party.

"Yuck! Don't poison my guests!"

"Stop being ridiculous. I read this in a magazine, I'm sure it will be delicious!"

"You've never made it? You're EXPERIMENTING on my friends?!"

"Yes. Now go away."

"This is my kitchen!"

"And I'm your mother. Go."

I went. And, as always, she was right. They were delicious. My 5 year old niece told my brother to get the recipe. And I surrepetitiously ate every remaining meatball (not that there were many!) after everyone had gone home.

And you can make it in the slow cooker, so this has now become a favourite recipe for nights when the Princess has dancing or swimming. And, because I love you, here it is.

Badness's Mom's Fabulous Sweet and Spicy Meatballs

One can JELLIED cranberry sauce (the kind with no pieces of fruit)
One jar salsa (medium or hot)
frozen italian meatballs

Put the cranberry jelly and salsa in the slow cooker. Break up the jelly a bit with a wooden spoon and stir it around a bit. If you're short on time you can heat it up in a saucepan first. Add the meatballs. Cook. Eat.

If you cook it on high, this only takes a couple hours, in fact, you can do it in half an hour in a saucepan on the stove. But it gets better the longer it simmers, so you can throw it in on low in the morning and let it simmer all day. This makes enough sauce for 50-60 meatballs if you're doing it for a party, but if I'm doing it for us I cook about 20 meatballs and then I put the leftover sauce in the freezer and use it for one more meal. (And a note on the salsa, use the cooked kind, I usually just buy the store brand for this, the jar I used last night was 650ml.)

You can serve this with pasta (my kids fave), or rice, or just fresh bread and salad (my fave).
Bad ate 5 last night. I was dreaming of leftovers for lunch, but Hubs ate them. Typical.

Warning!!!! Big Wordy Post Ahead....

2008-11-12T09:11:00.002-05:00

I’ve been thinking endlessly about what to write in this post. I’ve been beating myself up for putting some weight back on. It has to stop. (the weight gain, and the self-abuse!) Yes, I’ve let some of my good habits slip, but since August I’ve also gone from nursing Bad every 3-4 hours, day AND night, to one bedtime love and milk-fest. I think my body was using a lot of extra calories to keep him fed, and I didn’t think to adjust my intake accordingly when I started laying down the nursing law.

I’ve watched my mom struggle with her weight my entire life, but she has gotten down to a healthy weight by eating well, and she’s been swimming and walking several times a week. She looks amazing – yay Mom! Both of my maternal grandparents were overweight. I’ve watched all four of my siblings lose and gain weight over the years. My mom’s sister was morbidly obese for decades. About 5 years ago she had a gastric bypass and got down to a size 14 (she’s 5’11). She has had terrible side effects, and still vomits weekly, if not daily, and her resulting malnutrition has caused her to suffer memory loss and blackouts. Yet, despite what seems to me a horrible outcome from the surgery, she has told my mom with complete sincerity that she would rather die than gain back the weight. I refuse to go down that path. I am genetically predisposed to weight gain. I will not allow myself to use that as an excuse. I can be the ‘skinny’ one in the family, but I have to give up the illusion that I will ever be able to let my guard down. I need to make a conscious and continued commitment to my body and my health.

This doesn’t mean dieting. It doesn’t mean joining a gym and performing innumerable repetitions of mind-numbing exercises. I lost the weight without taking drastic or horrible measures, and I can keep it off doing the same things. I just have to remind myself to make them a habit again, and why it’s so important.

1. Water before coffee – I know, all the experts tell you to drink 8 glasses a day, but that’s hard and I have to go pee enough as it is. I’m sure that more is better, but if I drink a big glass when I first get up, and one glass before or with lunch and one glass before or with dinner, it’s enough to make a difference.

2. Treat cheese as a condiment or garnish, not the main component of every other meal.

3. Eat what I really want to eat. I couldn’t survive on a low-carb diet. I’d be fainting within 2 days. That said, I’m picky about those carbs. Does anyone REALLY enjoy Wonder bread? I keep homemade muffins in the freezer, buy fresh bakery bread, and have even discovered that you can make up a batch of biscuits or scones, roll them out, then freeze them individually and bake them up straight from frozen when needed. A fresh hot scone with strawberry jam, or dry plastic toast-bread for breakfast….what are you really going to enjoy?

4. Plain non-fat yogurt. Learn to love it.

5. Homemade soup. Maybe because it’s low-cal, maybe because it ups my liquid intake, maybe because I love it; I’m not sure what it is, but the more I make this part of my diet, the easier my weight is to maintain.

6. Eat what I really want to eat. I’m the one planning and shopping and cooking. I need to stop trying to please Hubs and the kids. They can always have bread and fruit and yogurt, and they should learn to eat better anyway.

7. Exercise with my kids. I really want to start running again, but Hubs is never going to make the commitment to help me, so I need to just accept that. Once the boy is sleeping through the night and I can be reasonably sure that I can get up and run and get home before he wakes up and destroys the house while Hubs snores obliviously on, then I can run. Until then, we walk places. We run around at the park. And we’ll be going swimming once a week all winter.

8. Plan. Cook big batches of that soup, those muffins, so there is always something in the freezer that I want to eat.

I need to keep things in perspective. Yes, my jeans have gotten tight, but I couldn’t even pull these jeans ON last January, things are not so bad.

Anything I’ve forgotten? Leave me your tips, I’m always glad of help and inspiration!

Conversations with Children

2008-11-11T14:15:00.003-05:00

The Princess: "Mommy, we made poppies at school today with our reading buddies!"

Me: "That's great, did you have fun?"

The Princess: "Yep! Poppies are flowers, right?"

Me: "That's right."

The Princess: "Can you say the poppy poem for me again?"

Me: "In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place, and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amidst the guns below

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, say sunset glow
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you, from failing hands we throw
The torch, be yours, to hold it high
If yea break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields."

The Princess: "I like that poem, Mommy."

Me: "I like it too."

The Princess: "My uncle wrote it, right?"

Me: "Your great-great-great uncle. Grandpa's grandma's brother. Colonel John McRae."

The Princess: "Yeah. And he was a soldier. The soldiers came to our school last year and sang O Canada with us."

Me: "Did you like that?"

The Princess: "Yes! The soldiers are really nice! Remember when we saw them in a parade?"

Me: "Yes baby. I do."

Thank you Great Great uncle John. Thank you Grandpa Macey. Thank you Grandpa Holmes. Thank you Great Uncle Joe. Thank you Great Uncle Chum. Thank you to every soldier, each man and each woman who made unbelievable sacrifices to protect our country. Because of you, my children live in a blessed time, in a blessed place, with nothing in their frame of reference to help understand what is meant by war. I haven't forgotten. I won't let them forget. Thank you.

Badness vs Fatness - Fight to the Death

2008-11-10T12:54:00.002-05:00

In this corner, standing five feet seven inches tall and weighing in at slightly over her optimum fighting weight of 140 lbs, our intrepid hero and reigning champion - BAdness!!! (yay! woot!)

And in the other corner, trying to stage a comeback with sneaky underhanded tactics like birthday cake and Hallowe'en treats, weighing in at (yeah right! that number's going with me to the grave!) the evil nemesis FATness Jones! (boo! hiss!)

Stay tuned fans, tomorrow Badness will fill us in on her plans to defeat that sneaky fat girl for good.

All she wants for Christmas....

2008-11-09T05:32:00.003-05:00

The Parade is next weekend. Ergo, we need our letters ready to deliver. I sat down with the Princess to make her list, and quickly realized that a new strategy was needed. She doesn't just want a Barbie, she wants a Hannah Montana singing concert Barbie. It would've been tortuous for me to watch her painstakingly print that out, letter by letter, while simultaneously trying to keep Bad from sabotaging her efforts. So, compromise. A little printing practise, a little cut and paste.

She also wants a Strawberry Shortcake castle but she's been warned that Santa has a lot of kids to make presents for, and all the kids have to share. I also told her that sometimes Santa brings wonderful surprises, because he has even better ideas for toys than we do. (There's a limit to the amount of money and effort I'm willing to put into procuring cheap plastic toys. Bah Humbug!)

But at Midnight, you'll turn into a pumpkin...

2008-11-08T06:38:00.005-05:00

Well, you might, if you eat as many of these as Hubs and my kids have been eating! I read a recipe for chocolate-chip pumpkin muffins the other day, and quickly ran out for pumpkin so that I could make them. I learned a long time ago that my family expects chocolate in their muffins, and as long as it's there, they'll accept any other ingredients without comment or complaint. Bananas, apples, whole-wheat, wheat germ, oatmeal, peanut butter, spelt, now pumpkin. You name it, they'll eat it with chocolate. The first batch was good, and they gobbled them down, but I wasn't satisfied. So I tinkered the recipe a bit and tried again. These are lighter, spicier, and healthier too! Ta da!

Badness's Better Chocolate-chip Pumpkin Muffins

Preheat oven to 375 F

Mix:

1 1/2 cup wholewheat flour
1 cup all purpose flour
1 t baking soda
1 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1/4 t ground cloves

Set aside, and in a big bowl combine:

1 cup pumpkin puree (NOT pie filling)
1 1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla (but I was out, and they were fine)

Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and stir gently just until combined. When the flour is almost incorporated add chocolate chips. (I used 1/2 of a 350g bag, but you should use as few or as many as you want)

This amount was originally for 12 muffins, but I made 24. The kids and I like the small ones, and Hubs can always eat two. So, if you make 24 you'll want to bake them for about 15 minutes, if you make 12 it'll probably take 20. But keep an eye on them, every oven is different.

Enjoy!

Wake-up Call

2008-11-07T05:21:00.004-05:00

I woke up this morning to the sound of a car alarm. I glanced at the clock. 5:05. I lay my head back down for the merest moment before it registered that the sound was MY car alarm. I jumped out of bed and as I hit the bottom stair, I recognized another sound over the cacophony in the driveway. Giggles. I looked toward the sound, and there was Bad. On his tiptoes, looking out the window at the flashing lights and screaming siren of my car. My keys in his hand, finger on the panic button. He's a remote control prodigy.

My sincerest apologies, if you live in my street. I've got coffee on, if you can't get back to sleep either....

The Battle of Midway...

2008-11-06T05:50:00.009-05:00

Ta da! Okay, I'm only half done, but still, I've done a lot. All the furniture has been moved, and I've thrown out a couple bags of garbage. All of the children's things have been transported back to their rooms.

Some of you might be looking in this closet and thinking, "This girl has no clothes!" I have a confession to make. I have no clothes. At some point after the Princess was born I listened to the advice that you shouldn't hold on to too small clothes that you might be able to wear again 'someday'. I kept a couple pairs of jeans and a dress that I'd spent a lot of money on and barely worn, and gave the rest away. So in the beginning of the year, when I finally got my act together and lost all the baby and 'husband' weight, I was left me with....almost nothing. I bought some summer things, and I've got a few pairs of jeans in the dresser, but I think I'm going to have to hit up a couple consignment shops to get myself through the winter. Maybe Santa will be good to me!

The kids and I spent hours shopping yesterday, we hit HomeSense, and Wal-Mart, and the SuperStore, but I didn't find the boxes and bins that I want to re-organize all the craft, wrapping, gift and holiday supplies that also hide in the closet. I used some laundry baskets for the time being, but they're not pretty, I think I can hear Ikea calling my name. I'll be able to pick up a lamp there too.

You can probably see from the photos that we've never decorated this room. I think I'm going to make that my project for the spring. I want to make a big 'inspiration/bulletin' board to hang over the desk, something covered in fabulous fabric. I can dream all winter about new bedding, new bedside tables.....

But for now? It's nice just to be able to walk in there!

Coming out of the closet....

2008-11-05T08:19:00.005-05:00

Hubs bought a new computer for his company last week, and I (yay!) inherited the old one. This is lovely in that I will have much more time to post and visit bloggy friends, but it has created some furniture arrangement issues. I ran to Ikea and bought the smallest and cheapest computer table I could find, and set it up in a corner of the living room. I actually really like it, Hubs took issue with the fact that the keyboard shelf is white, but this bookcase we've had forever is in the same room, and it kind of ties it together.

The problem is that the computer table displaced an old table and chairs that the kids used for colouring. I've decided that the kids can do crafts in the kitchen for now, and I took the old table up to my bedroom. I'm going to create my own little spot for drawing and wrapping and whatever. But -

This is now the corner of my room. This is the BEFORE. This is today's project. Hopefully by tonight I will be able to post the AFTER.

Wish me luck....gulp.

For the girl

2008-11-04T11:49:00.004-05:00

This morning as we were putting on our coats and shoes for the walk to school, the Princess piped up, "Mommy? How about for a special surprise you clean this closet while I'm at school?" She's DEFINITELY my child.

She hates it when she can't get in to find her things on her own. Closet space is a constant problem in this house. There wasn't a coat closet at all when we first moved in. The old owners walked halfway through the house and hung their things in the kitchen. We turned THAT cupboard into a much needed pantry, and we punched a doorway through to the front room and stole 3' from it to create a powder room and a small walk-in closet.

The closet helps a lot, but it needs to hold an awful lot of stuff. Especially during the spring and fall, when the weather can go from 'jeans and tees' to 'snowsuit and mittens' and back again overnight. Add in the purses and school bags, my sewing machine, extra boxes of kleenex...all in all it can be an organizational nightmare.

But for now, it's beautiful...and it will stay that way, at least until Hubs gets home.

And how do you like my new boots? Hubs thinks they're a little muk-luk-esque, but they're fuzzy and soft inside, which is perfect for someone who hates to be cold and hates to wear socks.

"May the force be with you...."

2008-11-03T12:52:00.003-05:00

That's what Hubs said to me this morning as he opened my car door for me, after he'd helped strap in our screaming, squirming offspring. They didn't want to go to swimming lessons. To be honest, I didn't particularly want to take them, but I figured it was safer for all of us to get out of the house. I know that I'm lucky to be able to stay home with my children, but some days....on some days, full time employment looks pretty good. At least Hubs knows how good he's got it, and never complains about the state of the house or noodles for dinner again.

Tricks or tips anyone? How do you fill your days at home with little children? What do you do to pull yourselves out of a funk?

Best intentions....

2008-11-02T06:39:00.006-05:00

So whose dumb idea was it to try to start eating well the day after Hallowe'en? On a day the house was overflowing with candy and treats of all kinds? Oh yeah. Mine. I'm an eejit. Let's just say that day one was a bust. I made it through the morning, making beds, putting away laundry, shaking over-tired and over-sugared children off of my legs. I made homemade soup for lunch, and passed on the grilled cheese sandwiches I made for everyone else to eat with it. Then I spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa, eating candy and reading a book.

Well, it's a new day, but we're completely out of coffee so I don't hold out much hope for it.

I'm going to go clean out the pantry before taking the kids to buy groceries. It's an exciting life. Sigh.

Housekeeping

2008-11-01T08:39:00.003-04:00

A little light housekeeping; mental, physical, and otherwise. Aahhh, sweet November. Since October begins with the Princess' birthday and ends with Hallowe'en, and December begins with Bad's birthday and ends with Christmas, November is a bit of a respite here at the House of Bad. So what have I decided to do with that respite? NaBloPoMo.

This year, however, it'll be NaBloPoMo with a purpose. The decluttering of my house, my body and my brain, and you can read about all of it, right here. I may not be able to afford therapy, but I have my own little space here to rant and rave, and some wonderful bloggy friends to keep me honest.

I've already started with the house, and since everyone seemed to like the photos of my fridge last Christmas, I'll post some shots of my newly organized cupboards, closets and drawers. By December, my house might not shine, but it'll be organized within an inch of its life, and very easy for Hubs to clean while I sit back and watch from the sofa.

Also? I've let my eating habits slip, and I've gained a few pounds back. I'm still wearing my 'skinny' clothes, but I feel bloated and sluggish in them. Time to start paying attention again, and to start drinking more water and less coffee. Yuck. That should up the snark factor over here.

Wish me luck....and happy posting, everyone!

Happy Hallowe'en!

2008-10-31T21:14:00.001-04:00

Damn it. None of my pictures turned out. Oh well, the decorations were spooky, the children adorable, and the candy delicious. So Happy Hallowe'en from all of the monsters and goblins here at the House of Bad!

Fourth Fourth

2008-10-29T14:25:00.002-04:00

I saw this meme over at Jen on the Edge. It's just the fourth photo in the fourth file in your Pictures folder. This is what I found. The Princess was 2, and already perfectly accessorized, even while sleeping. What will you find?

Something REALLY Scary....

2008-10-29T10:18:00.002-04:00

You think ghosts and goblins are creepy? How about this much snow before Hallowe'en?

The Princess wanted to make a snowman, but then we decided a snow witch would be better.

Bad was not impressed. I'm with you buddy.

I feel the Crazies coming on....

2008-10-23T07:40:00.003-04:00

Most of you are probably going to think that it's too early to be thinking about Christmas, but since we're hosting my family this year, I asked Hubs last night whether he wanted to go to his mom's or his sister's, or if he wanted to find a day to invite them here. I apparently wasn't specific enough in my suggestion that I couldn't handle everybody at once, and he called his mom and she's coming to stay from Christmas Eve through Boxing Day. And his sister will show up, boyfriend and enormous dog in tow, whenever she feels like it.

My MIL is not the devil. I have to keep repeating this to myself. She loves my kids, she is generous to us, and the fact that even thinking about her spending two nights here, two months from now, is making me yell at my children, obsessively clean the stove and my skin itch, well, I guess that's my problem. The woman is negative, she knows exactly which buttons to push, and I don't enjoy her company. I get defensive and angry and paranoid and crazy, whenever she's around. Whenever I even contemplate her being around. I don't want to list her faults, because I have more than enough of my own, but she once gave me a diet book for my birthday. That's just the kind of thing she does.

I think I need to get medicated. Maybe a secret bottle of Valium would take the edge off things for me.

Planning, however, is the key. I need to have everything done, every single detail laid out in advance. I know from experience that despite his best intentions, my husband is going to let me down. He won't help with the shopping, with the cleaning, with the wrapping, or the cooking. He will promise to do it, and then when he doesn't and I go bat-shit crazy, he will become the injured party, because I'm crazy, and those things that I think are important to do are just "crazy and obsessive". Hmm...I think there's another post right there.

Anyway. I'm rambling. I fear for my mental health.

Meh!

2008-10-21T15:03:00.002-04:00

It's snowing. It's effing snowing. That's all.

Update: No, that's NOT all! It's a SNOWSTORM! An effing snowstorm. GAH!!!!

Dinner Theatre....for the Preschool set

2008-10-20T08:18:00.003-04:00

A construction crew was very thoughtfully providing a live version of Mighty Machines this morning, which can keep Bad entranced for ages. But we've got swimming, and I needed him to eat breakfast, so.....

Mmm, Pie.....

2008-10-16T17:16:00.005-04:00

I have to admit it. Thanksgiving this year was a little disappointing on the dessert front. My mom did make a delicious lemon meringue pie, and a yummy little chocolate cream number (Bad and the Princess's favourites, respectively) but my MIL inexplicably decided to serve chocolate chip banana bread and fruit salad for dessert. I mean, wtf?

Consequently, there has been an unhappy little voice in my head muttering, "pie...apple pie....why me have no pie?" at inopportune moments all week. I decided today that something had to be done before this craving got ridiculously out of hand.

This is what we're having for dinner....now what am I going to do with myself until it comes out of the oven?

update: it's out of the oven....(and we are having soup first)

mmm....delicious pie....I can't wait to eat you!

A little burlesque?

2008-10-14T16:45:00.006-04:00

You've all probably noticed that I haven't been blogging regularly. I just haven't had the energy. I miss all my bloggy friends, but I just can't seem to pull myself out of the fog I've been in. However, sometimes you see things that have to be shared, and one of them is in my living room right now:

Check out the Pirate Pasties!!

xo Badness

Parties and Pools and Purses

2008-10-02T11:08:00.004-04:00

My baby girl turned 5 yesterday. It has been a busy week. We celebrated with a party on the weekend, complete with the requested Princess Castle cake. It was lovely to have the house full of our beloved friends and family, but the party only kicked off the excitement.

We packed up the car on Monday morning and left for Niagara Falls right after swimming lessons. The kids loved the Falls, and the waterpark in our hotel, and all of the tacky amusements and concessions available on Clifton Hill.

We got back yesterday afternoon - just in time to leave again for the Princess's ballet lesson. I'dve skipped it, but the first class of each month is 'dress-up', and I would never have been forgiven for missing it. After dancing I cooked a late dinner, we ate the leftover castle and the birthday girl opened her presents from us before collapsing into bed. I wish I could say I joined her, but I had to make birthday cupcakes for her to take to school today. I think that mommy needs a present.

And what better present than a new handbag? Check out this new website, http://www.handbagplanet.com/, and the FREE!!! handbags they're giving away to celebrate their launch. And I really hope that y'all win one....just not the one I want!

Badness goes postal...

2008-09-18T15:44:00.005-04:00

Hubs and I realized the other day that we'd been a bit lax, and hadn't set up an RESP for Bad yet. ANd then we realized that we couldn't, because we hadn't applied for his SIN. So today I dropped the Princess off at school, rooted around in our files for Bad's passport and headed down to our friendly government offices.

"Hi, I just need to apply for a SIN for my son."

"Was he born in Canada?"

"Yes."

"Do you have his birth certificate?"

"No...I brought his passport."

"I'm sorry, we need his birth certificate."

"But...do you know how much I had to pay for his passport? How much trouble I went through to procure it? This is the HOLY GRAIL of personal identification!!! It's much better than a birth certificate....I'm an artist, and trust me - I could forge a Canadian birth certificate with one hand tied behind my back....but I couldn't forge this! Couldn't you make an exception?"

"I'm sorry, but if he was born in Canada we need his birth certificate. That's the primary documentation."

"I'M sorry...did you say IF HE WAS BORN IN CANADA? Do you mean that if he was born somewhere else you'd accept a passport as ID?

"Well....yes."

(insert outraged speechless sputtering here)

I heard the friendly government employee apologizing feebly for their asinine policy as I turned around and stomped out, unable to trust myself to speak. Luckily I live halfway between two government 'Community Service Centres' (their name, NOT mine) and so tomorrow, to save myself the agony of facing the same government employee twice, I will be off to the second one, proper primary documentation in hand. Gah.

Who's afraid of a crocodile?

2008-09-17T13:40:00.005-04:00

I took the kids and one of their friends to Reptilia today. I am NOT a reptile person, but I forced myself to suck down my fear and go, because Bad and the Princess love it there. We were the only visitors this morning and one of the keepers came out and got a turtle, a python, and a lizard out of the cages for them to pet. (The Princess was a little bit disappointed, because she wanted to pet the huge Nile crocodile, she's obviously not a wussy like her mother.) He was fabulous (even a little dishy, if you like Australian accents and men in khaki - but it could be just me, I'm attracted to anyone who'll entertain my children so I don't have to!), answering all their questions, giving them all kinds of information, and lots of his time. It's a wee bit expensive, but today's visit was definitely worth it.

Entranced.

Learning about turtles.

They let this lizard LICK them. Time to wash your hands kids!!!

Fashionista

2008-09-11T13:35:00.002-04:00

This post over at Jen on the Edge inspired me to post the latest dress-up antics of my babies. Only Bad can pull off dancing in a tiara and a tutu and still look like a bruiser. What are your children wearing today?