Endings

On Saturday afternoon I laid down with Bad and nursed him to sleep. I didn't know it then, but it was the last time I'd ever nurse a baby. One o'clock in the afternoon of Saturday, December the twenty-seventh, 2008.

That evening Bad threw a temper tantrum. A down and out kicking and hitting and crying and screaming temper tantrum. He kicked out and hit my sprained thumb so hard that the pain took my breath away. After I'd calmed down, and calmed him down, I helped him into his pyjamas, brushed his teeth and lay down beside him in his bed. He immediately reached for my shirt.

"I'm sorry buddy, I can hold you, I can kiss you, I can sing to you or rub your back, but I can't nurse you right now." And I couldn't. I just couldn't bear the thought of lifting my shirt up and letting him latch on. Maybe he sympathised with the weary note in my voice, or he may have just been exhausted and cried out, but he let me just hold him and do 'criss-cross' on his back until he fell asleep.

I hadn't intended to never nurse him again, although I've been muttering about weaning for months. He napped in the car on Sunday, and at bedtime I rubbed his back again and told him that my milk was almost gone. If he'd cried I'd have given in, but he didn't. He curled his body into mine and was asleep in minutes.

Yesterday the first wave of sadness came. We spent the day with the dinosaurs at the ROM, so Bad napped in the car again. I thought, for a moment, about nursing him to sleep at night - a last nurse, a chance to say good-bye - but it would've been for me, and made things harder on him.

Ironically, after three days without nursing and barely a whimper, this morning his tears came. I took away a 'toy' that he wanted to play with, (a rail from the back of one of the kitchen chairs) and he wanted to be soothed with a breast. I took him up to nap, but I held my ground. There is still milk there, but it's receding. The fullness is gone. My baby cried and fought and clawed at my chest to get in, and I held him and whispered to him but pushed his hands away until I was crying too. He's sleeping now. He fell asleep in my arms. I shouldn't feel guilty, it's been two years, it's time. I think I made the right decision....didn't I?

Look what I got!!

We had a wonderful Christmas at the House of Bad. The kids were thrilled with all of their presents, and even more thrilled at having a house full of family. I got some wonderful things, but I want to show you my favourites, both of which were courtesy of my Dad this year.

He MADE me this Santa.



And gave me this memory.



Thanks Dad.

The Ho-Ho-House Tour

Merry Christmas!

Welcome to the House of Bad!

I love this wreath. I've had it for about 6 years, and I just change up the ribbon to suit my mood. I bought some beautiful glass heart ornaments to hang on the porch this year, and once I'd added matching ribbon to everything, they looked made for each other. (I'm not entirely sure the hearts were made for outdoor use, but at least it'll be quick, if they break. Unlike the drawn-out mocking death of the hanging plants I hang there each summer.)



I can't take credit for that most glorious of Christmas decorations - freshly fallen snow. (And to be honest, I hope that it'll all go away come the 26th!)



Hubs gave me the porch swing for my birthday. I'm looking forward to being able to trust Bad not to run into the road, and then I'll be able to sit there with hot chocolate and blankets while I watch my babies play in the snow. (And a little wine in the summer, maybe, whilst they ride their bikes up and down the street?)

I love pulling all the ornaments out of their boxes each year. There are always some that I'd forgotten we had, and it's a wondrous surprise to see them again.



The tree's the thing, here at the House of Bad. Anything and everything goes, as far as ornaments are concerned. Here are some of the things you'll find on our tree (and last year's post, if you want to see close-ups of a few):

Moose in a rowboat (Nfld)
Fisherman (PEI)
Gnome (Montreal)
Santa made from a seashell (Quebec City)
Coke bottle (Las Vegas)
Rastafarian Santa (Bahamas)
Manatee (St. Pete's Beach)
Christmas Palm Tree (Key West)
Nativity in a Poppy seed shell (Budapest)
Nativity in a pottery cup (Mexico)
Humpty-Dumpty (Harrods, London)
Glass grapes (Niagara-on-the-Lake)
Blown glass tree (Bermuda)
Mickey Mouse in a lightbulb (California)
Bobble-head monkey (McDonald's Happy Meal)
Glass pickle
Glass potato
Frog Prince (2 different ones!)
Pig Prince
Ballerina Elephant
Cinderella (not the Walt Disney version)
4 silk Snow White balls (Walt Disney version)
Silk butterfly
Leprechaun
spaceman in a rocket car
Venetian gondola
train
Santa in a firetruck
glass candy canes
collection of mirrored disco balls
glass and feathered birds
Russian wooden dolls
antique glass balls (all colours)
new glass balls (purple and blue)
cheap flocked balls from Ikea (all colours)
crocheted angels and snowflakes my mom made when I was little
a silk 'Ziggy' ball from Hubs' childhood
ceramic snowman my sister painted circa 1980
glass circus lion
glass circus clown
ballet shoes
jewelled high heel shoe
various creations by the Princess (looking forward to some from Bad!)
nutcrackers (various types)
glass icicles
stuffed Donald Duck
glass teddy bear
glass bell
resin teddy bear
Victorian tin tinsel
clear bead garland
my beloved tree topper (coveted for an entire Christmas season and purchased in February at 75% off!)



It all looks fabulous together once it's up! It really is a tree designed for children (of all ages!). We sit around it and play a Christmas version of eye spy, looking for their favourite ornaments. (The stuffed dog is circa 1985 or so, and he only comes out at Christmas. His name is Poinsetter. I didn't make that up. And please ignore the shutters on the windows. They're hideous, but they came with the house, and 4 years later we haven't gotten around to replacing them yet. Or the ugly carpet. What can I say? It's an old house and the list of things we need to replace is almost as long as Santa's naughty list.)



I don't do a lot of seasonal decorating inside the house, apart from the tree, but what would Christmas be without Reindeer Games? These books and toys live with the ornaments for most of the year, so they're a treat for the kids when they come out again each December.

Other than that, the kids have the trees they made at Bad's birthday, and there's a vase full of pinecones in the powder room. (Just before it snowed we were out walking and the Princess asked me why some trees lost their leaves and some were still green. I explained the difference and we picked up some pinecones - a LOT of pinecones. I thought about making something with them, but just the idea of sticking little googly eyes on to hundreds of pinecones to make little hedgehogs had my head about to implode. I threw them in the vase, and they're actually really pretty. My photo didn't turn out.)

You should check out my blog decorations though, I did this last year too, and lame though it may make me, I just can't help but love it.

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you have a season full of hugs and giggles and cheer. (And that Santa comes, too!)

xo Badness

Psst! Go see Jen on the Edge for the list of other houses on the tour!

Merry Christmas from the House of Bad

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Santa's a blogger.

Last night after dinner the Princess and I sent an e-mail to Santa at http://www.santaclaus.ca/, and this morning I found the following in my inbox:

Merry Christmas Princess and Bad and thank you for your email. I hope you are both reading my daily blogs. The toy factory is a buzz of activity. We are busy making Hannah Montana items, lego, and dinosaur toys. These have been some of the most popular items our factory has ever made. The Hannah Montana toys are so much fun to make as the elves love to play with them. Moe Jingle and Jazzy Jingle, two elves from the Dinosaur division, slipped outside the toy factory the other day at lunch time and quietly raced behind the reindeer barn and fed the reindeer too many carrots and lots of hay. I came out to take the reindeer for their daily workout and all they wanted to do was sleep. Moe and Jazzy came out and felt very badly for over feeding the reindeer. They tickled the reindeer hoofs and danced on their backs to awaken them. The reindeer soon started prancing and we were able to go for a nice long flight in the crisp night air. So as you can see, the reindeer are doing better and will be in great shape for Christmas Eve. I always have fun getting ready for Christmas. There is so much going on here that there is no time to worry or get into any mischief. We love this time of year so much. Thanks for leaving some cookies. I told Rudolph that you will be leaving some reindeer food that you made in Kindergarten and his nose lit up really bright. He is already excited to try it. Princess and Bad, I will do my best to make you both happy this Christmas. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.

Love Santa HO! HO! HO!

Maybe not the most masterful turn of phrase, but very nicely personalized, and the Princess was thrilled. And check out www.northpole.com for games and stories too.

The weather outside is frightful....

(I took this 5 minutes ago, at the kitchen door)



I'm just glad that I don't have anywhere to go; it's a perfect day to stay in and make treaties with my babies. I hope that all of you are somewhere safe and warm. (And that you have chocolate!)

Making my lists...I'll be checking them twice....

Guests and where they're sleeping.

MIL - 24th (our room or blow up bed - depends how cranky she makes me)
Mom & Dad - 24th & 25th (Princess's room)
L&S + J&W - 25th (L&S, our room, J - blow up bed, W - travel cot)
A&G (+ dog?) not staying over, whew!

(And where will WE be sleeping? Bad has a double bed, plus room for a queen-sized blow up bed, so we'll all be in his room together.)

Christmas baking

Ginger cookies - done
Chocolate chip cookies - done
Sugar cookie stars - done
Irish cream fudge - done
Lemon squares
Chocolate covered pretzels for gifts
PB balls - L bringing.


Christmas Eve Dinner

Tortiere - mom's bringing it, yeah! (Love it, hate making it)
French bread
Caesar salad
Red wine
Cookies

Christmas Breakfast

Ideas? Anyone? Please? There'll be 5 adults + 2 kids too excited to eat anything

Christmas Lunch

Not having one. People can eat cheese and crackers and nuts and cookies and candy from their stockings.

Christmas Dinner

turkey
stuffing
mashed potatoes (+gravy!)
roast carrots and parsnips
brussels sprouts - I don't care if Hubs hates them. He hates green beans and asparagus too, and I don't feel like making broccoli.
sweet potatoes?
squash?
rolls
Buche de Noel + pecan pie + apple pie for dessert
Am I forgetting anything?

Presents

Just need to get a giftcard for J - unless anyone has a good idea for a 16 year old boy? Around 20-30 bucks?
Everyone else - done

Housekeeping

I'm washing all the extra bedding now - it's been sitting in a drawer for 11 months, and smelled like it. Then I just have to:

Clean out the fridge
Dust everything
Clean 3 washrooms
Vacuum
Wash all floors
Clean up toys. And again, again, again, again, again.
De-clutter everywhere
Make a grocery list
Go grocery shopping
Have a raging hissy fit that no one is helping
Do everything on this list again.
And again.
And again.

Random sleepy thoughts...

This is how they sleep...and last night they made me stay in the middle.....

Bad was talking in his sleep, "bad guy!" over and over and over.... (it wasn't a nightmare, he LIKES bad guys)

We woke up to the Princess singing (over and over and over) "Bells on Bobcats ring!"

"Um, Princess? I think it's bells on BobTAIL ring...Bobtail is the horse's name...do you know what a bobcat is?"

"YES Mummy...it's like a tractor. And I'm making up a NEW song, okay?" (I'm sure you'll have no trouble inserting the attitude inherent in her voice - and once I've figured out what construction vehicles have to do with sleigh rides, I'll pass on the info. I guess this is what comes from letting them watch Bob the Builder Christmas specials?)

The Real Christmas Miracle

Is that I didn't injure either of my children today. And that I didn't have myself committed.

The end.

Overheard at breakfast...

The Princess: "Bad, when you go to school you're not allowed to hit, or kick, or push, or punch, or bite, or spit, or step on people, or else you get a time-out. You're going down, buster!"

Riding in cars with children...

The Princess: "Mo-o-o-mmmy! Why did you have to bring the car to pick me up from school?"

Me: "Because it's really cold, it's minus 12!"

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-o-om! I don't like riding in the car with my whole snowsuit on. I wanted to walk!"

Me: "We have to go pick up your brother from the babysitter, and it's too far for you to walk after school."

The Princess: "But Mo-o-o-mmmy! WHY did you have to bring the car? I don't WANT to ride in the car!"

Me: "Because I'm a cruel, evil monster, and because I'm trying to ruin your life."

The Princess (giggling now): "Mom, you're silly!"

Things I never thought I'd say...

to my children, or anyone!

1. Would you mind NOT putting your feet in my pants, please!

2. Seriously, THIS is how dinosaurs like to eat their bananas.

3. How did you get milk in your belly button?

And it's only 7:30 in the morning. Do you think it's gonna be one of those days?

Ali just made me google something that I never EVER would have guessed I'd google. Go see her to see what it was....

Happy Birthdays

Happy Birthday sweetness. I can't believe you're two.



What did you wish for? I'll try to make all your wishes come true.




While I was baking cupcakes for my boy and thinking about this day, two years ago, when I first held him in my arms, my friend Holly gave birth to her first child. Benjamin. I am thrilled beyond words for her, and I can't wait to meet him. Congratulations honey, and welcome to the world, sweet Benjamin. I hope that life will hold endless happiness and magic for you. Happy Birthday.

My son wants ham.

author's note: What follows is a very lame anecdote. I offer it only as a way to avoid housework.

I've never given my babies processed lunch meat. There's the salt and nitrate thing, plus the real reason - I don't eat it. I think it's icky. Hubs, on the other hand, is a fan. And he has converted the boy to his carnivorous ways. (Seriously, I've heard him say, nay CHEER, "Yay! Now I have someone to eat meat with!")

I just walked into the kitchen and Bad was sitting at the table, trying to pry open a new package of Black forest Ham.

Me: Sigh. "Before breakfast? REALLY?"

Bad: "Ya!"

I got a plate and gave him two slices.

Bad: (getting up and walking to the cupboard) "No. Blue. Blue."

Me: (transferring his meat to his chosen dish - WHAT I was thinking, giving him the pink plate on the top of the pile) "Oh. Sorry."

Bad: MO(re)! MO(re)!

Me: Sorry buddy. Choose another food group.